
Leave it to Baby to have his first birthday on a week in which I had to travel, am forced to clean the apartment for hours on end, and have to complete a time-depleting, soul-sucking, brain-melting project at work (suffice it to say that involves acronyms, numbers, and acronyms with numbers).
My son is just a talented fellow, what can I say?
In addition to lacking any time to reflect upon this momentous occasion, I’ve been about as visible in the blogosphere as Hillary Clinton at a Barack Obama rally.
In a way, this past fortnight, in which my life resembled the intersection of a Figure-8 race, has been emblematic of the last 12 months. It’s more apropos of life itself that Baby’s first birthday happened to fall at a time when his father was more ectoplasm than human.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned in Baby’s first year is that…um…uh…I’m just too tired to remember it.
Oh, yes. It’s entirely true that you will take a bullet for the kid. It’s also true that, at least once, you will seriously consider killing him.
Also, as a writer, you have a wealth of new experiences, all of which can be turned into writing material of the highest order.
For instance, the other night, at about 1:30 in the morning, Baby was crying, and crying, and crying. We had put him to bed at about 7, and after he had awoken at 10, he had gone immediately back to sleep. But for the third night in a row, he woke up after midnight and was wailing. And kept wailing. In a test of immature wills — I was not going to fucking get up and indulge the brat! — he was winning.
Finally, more frustrated than angry, I got up, and stomped out to his room. Any anger I had disappated immediately when I turned on the light and saw him standing in his crib, terrified (because while Baby is now quite adept and pulling himself up in his crib, he hasn’t yet mastered the art of letting himself down). I went from anger to shame to nearly crying, all in the space of about 30 seconds.

Parenthood is an emotional experience
Having a child exposes one to love, terror, fear, exhilaration, and panic in depths likely to overwhelm most humans, and it is only because, as a parent, you feel a protection of your newborn too strong to properly express, one doesn’t drown. It is like a pallet of the richest, deepest emotional colorings, and as a writer, I’m fortunate to have access to them.
Unfortunately, I’m too exhausted to actually write.
As in "write fiction." The usual inspirational tricks — reading great fiction to inspire me, reading awful fiction to inspire me, burning a couple of Harold Robbins paperbacks — have left me cold.
The screen is fallow before my eyes. The longer I stare, the blanker it stays. It becomes a endless tunnel, and the harder I try to escape, the longer the end appears. Then, when I’m done not writing, I’ll tend to Baby, scrub the floor (a necessary evil because of the nasty pesticides, because of the bed bugs, damn them), or I’ll simply fall asleep.

She’s my sister. She’s my daughter. She’s my sister. She’s my…oh, I’m just so damn tired that I’m babbling like an idiot at this point
It’s enough to make you feel 90 years old and living in a nursing home, where the biggest challenges of the day are taking that afternoon nap and getting an extra fruit cup on Taco Tuesdays.
I had something else semi-interesting to say on this subject, but it’s been lost in the miasma once known as my memory. I’ll remember it soon, I’m sure.
Let me sleep on it, and I’ll get back to you.
I can’t remember who said this but when asked about the creative enrichmen t of having her first child she replied that fatigue does not engender creativity. She said she had tons of new material but was literally incapable of doing anything with it. I remember thinking bravo for admitting that. Hopefully the experience is intense enough that later, when you have more time and energy, it will still be there, waiting for you to dig in and do something with it.
Happy birthday to Baby! My baby is ten months tomorrow. I think I’ve had a total of ten hours of sleep this week. It is all so wonderful and terrifying. Yes.
Happy birthday, Baby!
Do you have any babysitters close by to help with the sanity issues?
Happy birthday baby! And while I am sure this is of little comfort, trust me I remember the incredible fatigue of those early years, but the years they do fly until one day you realize you haven’t seen baby for more than a few minutes a day for months.
Then, you sit your well rested self down and weep a little for the sweetness of those early nights when you were baby’s world. And you do this all while baby looks on in horror as says “you really need a life …”
Ah, good times, good times.
Have you been so tired that you feel like you are literally vibrating and your cells are collapsing upon each other? Don’t worry, you will. He will make you a better writer though your explanations of the world to him and looking at the world through his eyes. Being a parent always changes a writer’s insights and introspections for the better.
Actually, contrary to Verbivore’s optimism, you will have total amnesia later in life for the lessons learned now, so write them in your sleep or be prepared to let them go, forever. However, it’s worth it, because in exchange you get this gorgeous child. And since all parents have amnesia for this period of life, you can later make up whatever the heck you want and no one will challenge you. Hmm. Maybe it was like that for him.
1. Happy birthday to Baby.
2. Give yourself a break. You’re raising another human being.
3. Set smaller goals for your writing. Just a single page of prose a day or even smaller if necessary so you can feel a sense of personal accomplishment.
4. Give yourself a break.
Happy Birthday, Baby! Having survived countless nights without sleep myself, I can assure you that the day will come when you wake up and go, “Hey, I’m actually lucid! Maybe I can take a thought and put it on…whaddya call, whaddya call, oh yes…paper.” Until that day, give yourself grace and soak up every little midnight moment. It really does go by so fast.
Plus, isn’t there something character building about sleep deprivation? Surely the subconscious mind absorbs glimmers of literary possibility while we stumble around banging shins on coffee tables, looking for the wipies…
verbivore: not only does fatigue fail to engender creativity, it actively stifles it. like, sits on it and suffocates it. like your friend, i’ve got lots of great material, and no energy to actually put it down on paper.
myfanwy collins: happy 10-month birthday for your child, and glad to hear you’ve gotten that many hours of sleep this week. that’s one hour per month. i’m kind of jealous.
fringes: thanks for the birthday wishes. because of the bed bugs, we haven’t been able to hire sitters yet. and it would go a long way towards restoring sanity, yes.
judy: the cure for that is simple. just keep having babies. i think that’s why some people do. in this weird way, i already miss baby’s first year, before he could throw things.
write procrastinator: the cells have collapsed on themselves too many times to count. i feel like that guy in “the lawnmower man” who is torn apart molecule by molecule, if that means anything.
i’m glad to hear he’ll make me a better writer, because now all he’s doing is wearing me out.
leigh: thanks for the b-day wishes to baby. i’ll buy “all about vee” when he’s old enough to read it.
that won’t make him gay, will it? not that there’s anything wrong.
as far as goals are concerned, i know i’m not aiming too high. i’d be thrilled with a decent paragraph. a decent sentence.
britta coleman: i agree that it goes by fast. i’m getting mushy just thinking about it.
there is something character-building about sleep deprivation, in fact. it’s called “turning into a character in a horror novel.”
Congratulations for your first year as a parent. That’s a huge accomplishment, let me tell you. The good news is the hard stuff is behind you - now you’re in for more fun than you can imagine. The bad news is you have to supervise the fun which means a lot less writing time. Sleep will get a little better though. I also range between love and complete frustration at the parenting thing. My kids are the best, but they are some hard work! If you are willing to accept some advice as your son’s birthday present, here it is: set your expectations very very very low & you will be pleasantly surprised at how much easier life becomes. Because the days of old are gone and you are charting the course of a new you.
yeah, what they all said.
It gets 1000% better when they sleep through the night consistently, and that will happen.
My big problem (now that my kids are almost 8 and 11) is that my writing — my everything — seems pretty measly compared to my kids. They’re so cool and fascinating and sweet and wonderful. I know i need to separate a little, recolonize my inner life, but time with them is so short.
Oh, well, the world will appreciate having two decent young people in it more than another novel.
“i feel like that guy in “the lawnmower man” who is torn apart molecule by molecule, if that means anything.”
An excellent visual metaphor from what I remember of the film.
“i’m glad to hear he’ll make me a better writer, because now all he’s doing is wearing me out.”
If he doesn’t improve your viewpoint, he’ll improve you. Think of it as “Parenting, The Nitzsche Way.”
As usual, I forgot the most important point, Happy Birthday to Little Bookster!
Happy birthday to Baby. I am never having kids. I just don’t have the patience. I’ll always just be the jolly, gay uncle.
Wishing more better and less worse to you and Mrs. Bookfraud and baby Bookfraud.
I could swear I’d left a post saying happy bday to the kidlet and kudos to you for enduring lack of sleep and all the travails of new parenthood. But apparently I didn’t. So, let me say it now. Kids are so adorable, especially when they belong to someone else.
I’ve taken care of other people’s kids for about 10 years now.
It’s amazing how cute can melt into tiny psycho…and vice versa.
writerkat: let me know when the fun begins. please. i need some fun. any time of fun. illegal fun. anything.
thanks for the sage advice. as the song goes, i’ve got no expectations.
rellis: the idea of having two children, one on the cusp of adolescence, just scares the bejesus out of me. i’m trying to readjust my priorities — certainly, baby is at the top now — but my neuroses are too great. what if i die unpublished? all i’ll have to leave the world is my genetic fingerprints.
writeprocrastinator: maybe what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, but does that also mean that baby will have a nietschean will to power?
collin: thanks for the birthday wishes, and here’s to staying a gay, jolly fellow.
michele: and thank you — we could use more better and less worse.
writtenwyrdd: thanks, too. kids are more adorable when they belong to someone else.
anybody interested in a healthy, happy boychick with a powerful set of a.m. lungs?
j.: funny how i never separated the “cute” from “psycho.” they’re one and the same to me. and yet, i still love him to pieces.