Wife gave a reading Friday night at a bookstore. I was wandering the shelves post-reading when I chanced upon the “Fantasy” aisle — Dungeons & Dragons, Lord of the Rings, that kind of thing. There I found something extremely disturbing.
Video Game Novels. Yes, there are now books based on video games — Halo, Warcraft, and others. I picked up “Cycle of Hatred (World of Warcraft)” by somebody or something named Keith R.A. DeCandido — he has 49 books to his credit, according to Amazon — when I was greeted by this gem of an opening:
“Erik had been cleaning ale off the demon skull mounted behind the bar when the stranger walked in.”
After I stopped laughing, I thought about this dangerous trend. First there was “novelization” of movies and sci-fi shows like “Star Trek” and “Battlestar Gallactica.” Then we had books with product placements and books based on children’s cartoons.
Now we’ve got books based on video games. There have been movies made out of video games, video games made out of movies, but I don’t know when books out of video games started. It’s not really a novel as so much as it is Novel as Entertainment, or Noveltainment.
One can argue that consumers of this fiction are reading, at least, instead of annihilating aliens on their Xboxes. And if they weren’t reading “Cycle of Hatred (World of Warcraft),” these same folks aren’t awaiting the latest Philip Roth or Joyce Carol Oates title with the same eagerness as they are the PlayStation 3.
If video “gamers” are reading, good. So why not extend the model to other genres? Why not extend the novel to non-traditional realms, take it where it has never gone before — to other forms of entertainment, or even consumer products?
Being a good consumer and one who makes pale stabs at writing Serious Fiction both, I propose that Noveltainment attempt, at the least, to have a literary bent. You can merge “the best of all worlds,” so to speak! It doesn’t have to be Erik cleaning the ale off the demon skull, though the more I read that sentence, the more I like it.
Not that there’s anything wrong
For instance:
Sitcoms
There was frisson between the two men, something they dared not speak all these years of their friendship, but now something had changed. George sat across from Jerry in the diner, and contemplated what Jerry had said: “Why can’t I have cereal for dinner?”
George felt a sudden passion, and a shiver ran down his spine to his anus. It had crystallized what George had felt his entire life. Suddenly he saw Jerry in a different way; no longer the rabbit-faced, buck-toothed, Jew-fro’ed comedian with a head the shape of an iron, but a sensitive, caring man, someone he could live with…he wasn’t gay, not that there was anything wrong…but as Elaine chattered on about how she couldn’t get past the fact the man she was dating had three nipples (“triple nipple,” she called him), George wanted her gone, dead, so he could spend all of his hours with Jerry.
But then Kramer entered the diner, wearing a silk blazer and gabardine pants. George felt jealous, murderously jealous. He would have to find his father’s weapon of choice, the Festivus gun.
Pro wrestling
Right in the middle of the SummerSlam Slammiversary Road to Hell Wrestlemania Showdown XIX, the biggest event ever in Sports Entertainment History!, The Rock was worried. Really worried. He was dropping The Undertaker in a double souplex, setting him up for the Rock Bottom — they were going to smell what The Rock was cookin’! — when he realized that he had left his car lights on! Shit! The battery was sure to be dead by now.
The crowd was booing, but The Rock didn’t care. Oh, shit! He had forgotten to pay his MasterCard bill — he wouldn’t get double Rewards Points this month! How could he have been so stupid? His wife was going to kill him!
As he was pinning The Undertaker to retain his WWE World Championship Belt, the crowd going berserk, camera bulbs flashing, blood pouring down his face, thousands chanting “Rock! Rock!” in orgiastic unison, the champion thought, “And I forgot to send a prompt thank you note to my wife’s second cousin after the baby shower.”
What was happening to him? Why was his life falling apart? He knew that he would have to check in — again — to the mental hospital after SummerSlam had run its horrible, bloody reign of violence.
Old-school video games
He could not stop eating, moving. As if compelled by a force pulling him with a lever, he moved right, left; he moved up and down, his lifeforce mechanically munching dots in his path. He did not understand why he was doing this, except that pale ectoplasms in the form of monsters chased him, and he intuitively knew that if one were to touch him, he would die. Once in a great while, a piece of fruit crossed his path, and suddenly he was chasing the monsters.
Pac had no control, had no say in the universe, had no power to control his destiny, and as if this great outburst of anger had purged all his ills, killed all his hopes, he looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid him open for the first time to the benign indifference of the world.
Existentential nausea
Cars
It had been a hard driving all day, she wasn’t losing any weight, she wasn’t getting any younger, so why not indulge herself a little! She needed it — she was bigger than most others, and all of her accessories made her look fat.
And she was feeling old. Younger models had replaced her in the public’s eyes; she had once been so hot, but age had taken its toll. Men coveted her no longer.
So the 2002 Cadillac SUV called her best friend, the 2001 Ford Focus, and they went out and got new tires, a lube job, oil change, a complete interior cleaning, and, just to show the world that she was a whole new 2002 Cadillac SUV, she got a paint job to boot, her dull black going to a shiny new red!
To celebrate the makeover, they went out to Exxon for a fill-up of SuperHiTest, at $4.93 a gallon. She couldn’t afford it, with her Manhattan parking rent and only getting 3 miles per gallon, but she deserved it!
The possibilities for Noveltainment are endless. TV weathermen, Christina Agulera’s new CD, Diet Coke With Lime — anything can be turned into fiction and made Noveltainment!
Hell, you could even make Noveltainment out of a novel (talk about meta.)
Others? If you have a Noveltainment idea and write a paragraph, I’ll publish it. E-mail it to bookfraud@yahoo.com.
I might even give a prize to the best entry. I’ll send you a picture — but not of me, of course.
neil: i think the pac man novel would be smashing. and you’re the guy to write it, neil! just send me a graph or two, and we’ll get the ball rolling!
phoenix: thank you. hope you have noveltainment idea as well.
Am I the only one who thinks that Pac Man novel would be a best-seller? Seriously.
Am I the only one who thinks that Pac Man novel would be a best-seller? Seriously.
That was excellent. Well done as usual Book.
That was excellent. Well done as usual Book.
neil: i think the pac man novel would be smashing. and you’re the guy to write it, neil! just send me a graph or two, and we’ll get the ball rolling!
phoenix: thank you. hope you have noveltainment idea as well.
neil: i think the pac man novel would be smashing. and you’re the guy to write it, neil! just send me a graph or two, and we’ll get the ball rolling!
phoenix: thank you. hope you have noveltainment idea as well.
Will & Grace…..nahhh, the whiney voice of Meagan Mullally makes that show, you can’t get “whine” into Noveltainment!
Will & Grace…..nahhh, the whiney voice of Meagan Mullally makes that show, you can’t get “whine” into Noveltainment!
Will & Grace…..nahhh, the whiney voice of Meagan Mullally makes that show, you can’t get “whine” into Noveltainment!
Do the Pac-Man novel, do the Pac-Man novel! Please! I don’t care if it’s a joint effort between bookfraud and Neil…it’s a story that’s dying to be told. I’d offer to help, but I can’t write fiction.
Ok, Noveltainment of a NOVEL!
Brilliant writer Dan Brown knew he had a bestseller on his hands the minute he wrote the opening sentence “Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum’s Grand Gallery.” The problem was only that he might not be able to get it written fast enough.
- okay, I can’t keep it up. It hurts too much.
I used to pick up movie tie-in novels all the time…mainly because the writer(s) usually fleshed out the story more or was using a script that had scenes that didn’t make it into the film.
The other day, I was reading that the novelization of “Superman Returns” contains plot points and more details that help to figure out character motivation, etc.
As a kid, I was totally hooked on the sci-fi mini-series “V”, which spawned about 12 novels based on the original show that were always well-written. Sometimes noveltainment can be fun.
michelle: i am going to have to leave teh “will and grace” novelization to you, i’m afraid.
l.l.: i guess i should abandon my 23 years of work on my current novel to do “pac man: a life on the run.” Then again, i’d probably get pac man published.
quinn: nice start. now finish! you have it in you!
collin: i didn’t say noveltainment wasn’t fun. it just bothers me that we’re making books out of video games. video games! thus, we should make them out of cds, new clothes, perfumes, nasdaq…
Do the Pac-Man novel, do the Pac-Man novel! Please! I don’t care if it’s a joint effort between bookfraud and Neil…it’s a story that’s dying to be told. I’d offer to help, but I can’t write fiction.
Do the Pac-Man novel, do the Pac-Man novel! Please! I don’t care if it’s a joint effort between bookfraud and Neil…it’s a story that’s dying to be told. I’d offer to help, but I can’t write fiction.
Ok, Noveltainment of a NOVEL!
Brilliant writer Dan Brown knew he had a bestseller on his hands the minute he wrote the opening sentence “Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum’s Grand Gallery.” The problem was only that he might not be able to get it written fast enough.
- okay, I can’t keep it up. It hurts too much.
Ok, Noveltainment of a NOVEL!
Brilliant writer Dan Brown knew he had a bestseller on his hands the minute he wrote the opening sentence “Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum’s Grand Gallery.” The problem was only that he might not be able to get it written fast enough.
- okay, I can’t keep it up. It hurts too much.
I used to pick up movie tie-in novels all the time…mainly because the writer(s) usually fleshed out the story more or was using a script that had scenes that didn’t make it into the film.
The other day, I was reading that the novelization of “Superman Returns” contains plot points and more details that help to figure out character motivation, etc.
As a kid, I was totally hooked on the sci-fi mini-series “V”, which spawned about 12 novels based on the original show that were always well-written. Sometimes noveltainment can be fun.
I used to pick up movie tie-in novels all the time…mainly because the writer(s) usually fleshed out the story more or was using a script that had scenes that didn’t make it into the film.
The other day, I was reading that the novelization of “Superman Returns” contains plot points and more details that help to figure out character motivation, etc.
As a kid, I was totally hooked on the sci-fi mini-series “V”, which spawned about 12 novels based on the original show that were always well-written. Sometimes noveltainment can be fun.
michelle: i am going to have to leave teh “will and grace” novelization to you, i’m afraid.
l.l.: i guess i should abandon my 23 years of work on my current novel to do “pac man: a life on the run.” Then again, i’d probably get pac man published.
michelle: i am going to have to leave teh “will and grace” novelization to you, i’m afraid.
l.l.: i guess i should abandon my 23 years of work on my current novel to do “pac man: a life on the run.” Then again, i’d probably get pac man published.
quinn: nice start. now finish! you have it in you!
collin: i didn’t say noveltainment wasn’t fun. it just bothers me that we’re making books out of video games. video games! thus, we should make them out of cds, new clothes, perfumes, nasdaq…
quinn: nice start. now finish! you have it in you!
collin: i didn’t say noveltainment wasn’t fun. it just bothers me that we’re making books out of video games. video games! thus, we should make them out of cds, new clothes, perfumes, nasdaq…
If memory serves, David Bowie planned (and maybe still does) to have a companion book to “Outside,” which was supposed to be the first chapter of a story about a detective who’s lost his memory and framed for murder. Since “Outside” didn’t do very well, I guess he scrapped the whole CD/book project. Shame that. Could have been innovative. I love “Outside.” Think it’s one of his best.
If memory serves, David Bowie planned (and maybe still does) to have a companion book to “Outside,” which was supposed to be the first chapter of a story about a detective who’s lost his memory and framed for murder. Since “Outside” didn’t do very well, I guess he scrapped the whole CD/book project. Shame that. Could have been innovative. I love “Outside.” Think it’s one of his best.
If memory serves, David Bowie planned (and maybe still does) to have a companion book to “Outside,” which was supposed to be the first chapter of a story about a detective who’s lost his memory and framed for murder. Since “Outside” didn’t do very well, I guess he scrapped the whole CD/book project. Shame that. Could have been innovative. I love “Outside.” Think it’s one of his best.
Hey, daddio, don’t ping my cheese with your bandwidth.
**laughing hysterically**
What’s scarier still: I dated someone who reads those damn things. I know, I know… I’m currently seeking the appropriate support group.
collin: i think that combining media is a cool idea — i guess the original idea was opera. but just no book based on “let’s dance.”
brian f.: wha?
jordan: what was it like dating someone who reads Halo novels? did you have much to talk about?
Hey, daddio, don’t ping my cheese with your bandwidth.
Hey, daddio, don’t ping my cheese with your bandwidth.
**laughing hysterically**
What’s scarier still: I dated someone who reads those damn things. I know, I know… I’m currently seeking the appropriate support group.
**laughing hysterically**
What’s scarier still: I dated someone who reads those damn things. I know, I know… I’m currently seeking the appropriate support group.
collin: i think that combining media is a cool idea — i guess the original idea was opera. but just no book based on “let’s dance.”
brian f.: wha?
jordan: what was it like dating someone who reads Halo novels? did you have much to talk about?
collin: i think that combining media is a cool idea — i guess the original idea was opera. but just no book based on “let’s dance.”
brian f.: wha?
jordan: what was it like dating someone who reads Halo novels? did you have much to talk about?
There are WoW books? I’m a WoW addict and didn’t know that. Hillarious
There are WoW books? I’m a WoW addict and didn’t know that. Hillarious
There are WoW books? I’m a WoW addict and didn’t know that. Hillarious
In your descriptions of “noveltainment” you are limiting your examples to overt “pop culture” (read: low culture) tie-ins and seperating those from what you term “Serious Fiction.” What do you make of novels such as Mark Z. Danielewski’s House of Leaves, which seems to be a companion piece to one of Poe’s music CDs (the artist, Poe, being his sister), and both the CD and novel blatantly advertise for one another. However, Danielewski’s novel was published/marketed as “Serious Fiction.” Is House of Leaves noveltainment too?
Also, I hear that a new movie version of All The King’s Men is coming out soon. When the movie arrives in theaters, won’t bookstores be stocked with “movie tie-in” paperbacks (complete with actors’ pictures on the cover) written by Robert Penn Warren? Does Penn Warren then become a noveltainment author?
In pop culture, the merit of Robert Penn Warren and Keith R.A. DeCandido is decided by so many factors that it is difficult to compare or even assess the respective total “value” of their work. Like you said, Erik cleaning ale of of that skull isn’t so bad an opening (and I wonder how much revenue his 49 books generate). On the other hand, much of the pre-fab “literary fiction” being written these days (the first Oprah Book Club picks come to mind) often make me want to gag much more than I would for a good “pulp-style” novel of imaginative battles and “classic” heroism.
In short, “noveltainment” is an interesting perspective at first, but doesn’t it seem to dissolve rather quickly when tested?
In your descriptions of “noveltainment” you are limiting your examples to overt “pop culture” (read: low culture) tie-ins and seperating those from what you term “Serious Fiction.” What do you make of novels such as Mark Z. Danielewski’s House of Leaves, which seems to be a companion piece to one of Poe’s music CDs (the artist, Poe, being his sister), and both the CD and novel blatantly advertise for one another. However, Danielewski’s novel was published/marketed as “Serious Fiction.” Is House of Leaves noveltainment too?
Also, I hear that a new movie version of All The King’s Men is coming out soon. When the movie arrives in theaters, won’t bookstores be stocked with “movie tie-in” paperbacks (complete with actors’ pictures on the cover) written by Robert Penn Warren? Does Penn Warren then become a noveltainment author?
In pop culture, the merit of Robert Penn Warren and Keith R.A. DeCandido is decided by so many factors that it is difficult to compare or even assess the respective total “value” of their work. Like you said, Erik cleaning ale of of that skull isn’t so bad an opening (and I wonder how much revenue his 49 books generate). On the other hand, much of the pre-fab “literary fiction” being written these days (the first Oprah Book Club picks come to mind) often make me want to gag much more than I would for a good “pulp-style” novel of imaginative battles and “classic” heroism.
In short, “noveltainment” is an interesting perspective at first, but doesn’t it seem to dissolve rather quickly when tested?
In your descriptions of “noveltainment” you are limiting your examples to overt “pop culture” (read: low culture) tie-ins and seperating those from what you term “Serious Fiction.” What do you make of novels such as Mark Z. Danielewski’s House of Leaves, which seems to be a companion piece to one of Poe’s music CDs (the artist, Poe, being his sister), and both the CD and novel blatantly advertise for one another. However, Danielewski’s novel was published/marketed as “Serious Fiction.” Is House of Leaves noveltainment too?
Also, I hear that a new movie version of All The King’s Men is coming out soon. When the movie arrives in theaters, won’t bookstores be stocked with “movie tie-in” paperbacks (complete with actors’ pictures on the cover) written by Robert Penn Warren? Does Penn Warren then become a noveltainment author?
In pop culture, the merit of Robert Penn Warren and Keith R.A. DeCandido is decided by so many factors that it is difficult to compare or even assess the respective total “value” of their work. Like you said, Erik cleaning ale of of that skull isn’t so bad an opening (and I wonder how much revenue his 49 books generate). On the other hand, much of the pre-fab “literary fiction” being written these days (the first Oprah Book Club picks come to mind) often make me want to gag much more than I would for a good “pulp-style” novel of imaginative battles and “classic” heroism.
In short, “noveltainment” is an interesting perspective at first, but doesn’t it seem to dissolve rather quickly when tested?
glitz: if you’re a wow addict, i recommend the novels. for a good laugh.
mark w.: i daresay you’re missing the point. it’s less that noveltainment is based on something else than the writer’s imagination, it’s the fact the whole endeavor is packaged, marketed, and sold as a tie-in to another product. “all the king’s men” existed as a novel long before it was made into a movie.
take this example: there was a bogus movie adaptation of “great expectations” (with ethan hawke as pip – ha!) — and then a novelized version of the movie was released. which was about as dickens as a coca-cola.
as far as “pre-fab literary fiction,” i don’t have a clue…
glitz: if you’re a wow addict, i recommend the novels. for a good laugh.
mark w.: i daresay you’re missing the point. it’s less that noveltainment is based on something else than the writer’s imagination, it’s the fact the whole endeavor is packaged, marketed, and sold as a tie-in to another product. “all the king’s men” existed as a novel long before it was made into a movie.
take this example: there was a bogus movie adaptation of “great expectations” (with ethan hawke as pip – ha!) — and then a novelized version of the movie was released. which was about as dickens as a coca-cola.
as far as “pre-fab literary fiction,” i don’t have a clue…
glitz: if you’re a wow addict, i recommend the novels. for a good laugh.
mark w.: i daresay you’re missing the point. it’s less that noveltainment is based on something else than the writer’s imagination, it’s the fact the whole endeavor is packaged, marketed, and sold as a tie-in to another product. “all the king’s men” existed as a novel long before it was made into a movie.
take this example: there was a bogus movie adaptation of “great expectations” (with ethan hawke as pip – ha!) — and then a novelized version of the movie was released. which was about as dickens as a coca-cola.
as far as “pre-fab literary fiction,” i don’t have a clue…