A long time ago,in a blog entry far,far away,I fell prey to what was a blogging trend at the time,and posted a column featuring lists. Besides being easy and rather humorous to write,it allowed me to give some information about myself without revealing my top-secret identity.
One of the lists was “Top 5 Famous Works of Fiction that I Hate or Can’t Finish.”Number 3 on the hit list:Toni Morrison’s “Beloved.”
Close followers of the literary zeitgeist will realize that not only did Beloved make my list,but was named the “best”American novel of the past quarter-century in a New York Times Book Review poll.
The problem is that I can’t finish “Beloved,”much less say I love it,for reasons that go well beyond my abilities of expression (“I thought it sucked,”“the language was all emoting,”“I thought it sucked.”). Literature that is all emotion and no brain (or conversely) grates on my nerves,and while Beloved is certainly a brainy book,in a way,it often reads more like a Harlequin Romance parody than,say,William Gass or Thomas Pynchon.
One can couch it in terms such as effective use of anaphora and synecdoche,but to put it in blunter terms,“Beloved”made my brain hurt. I read it until I couldn’t stand it.
I don’t get it
But apparently “Beloved”has touched a great many writers and readers,so I am left to wonder just what I’m missing. Where I went to grad school,criticizing Toni Morrison was a foolish idea,like dissing your brand new,6-6,300 pound,sex-deprived cellmate at Attica—do it at your own risk. Everybody at school just loved the book,and,in the one smart thing I did as MFA student,I shut my mouth while the copious praise of Ms. Morrison’s masterwork floated around my ears in class like clouds of silver.
I’ve only read one other Morrison novel,“The Bluest Eye,”her first book,and rather liked it,so I can’t chalk up my disdain for “Beloved”to a general animus I hold against the author,and I don’t fancy myself as a racist,despite one grad school professor’s characterization of all white folk (and she was a honkie,just like me).
The panel of “experts” for choosing the best book of the last quarter-century was a who’s who of American letters young and old,and who the hell am I,an unpublished novelist with a bitter streak,to question their wisdom? Perhaps it is the best work of fiction this great nation of ours has had to offer since 1981 and since I haven’t read “Mating,” “Winter’s Tale,” “Blood Meridian,”“Housekeeping,” or (gasp) any of the Rabbit Angstrom books,I probably am not really qualified to pass judgment.
My remaining 20 digits are not enough to count the “classic” works of literature that I didn’t “get,” enjoy,or quit in frustration. Most of these misbegotten ventures were forced down my throat in high school,college,and beyond. In part,my disdain of any book is correlated to my disdain of the person assigning it;a yukky high school teacher assigned “Ethan Frome” and I didn’t get over my Edith Wharton trauma until I read “The House of Mirth” years later.
I could tell you how “Middlemarch” made me doze,“Mrs. Dalloway” left me cold,and how Milton made my eyes bleed. I could tell you how I never got Dylan Thomas,how Ben Jonson made me cry with boredom,and “Moby-Dick” just made me cry.
At least these were school assignments. I know we’ve all be victims of a literary proselytizer,those folks who wave a book in your face and tell you that if you don’t read this—and love it more than anything ever written—you will be consigned to the lowest level of the literary afterlife. I’m one of those annoying characters,as are all passionate readers,and so when I don’t like a book that a friend pushes on me,I just blame the friend,not the book.
Me write now
But when you have institutional imprimatur for a book from other writers,a la “Beloved,” when you’re not a fan,it seems particularly grating. Everybody loves something,you don’t,and what the hell am I missing? Am I stupid,ignorant,or just a pro-wrestling lovin’,beer-swillin’,troglodyte?
Don’t answer that.
Ooh,I read half of Blood Meridian! It’s been sitting untouched in my backseat for seven months now.
I’ve never read Toni Morrison,and I don’t lose sleep over it. In fact,my reading habits skew towards the bestseller lists,and I feel no shame about it.
madame d.:now that’s funny. i hate it,too,when oprah or someone else takes something i like and co-opts it for their own evil purposes. hate it hate it hate it.
and “catcher”hasn’t aged well,has it?
michelle:thanks for the props. “gone with the wind”is one of those novels you’re better off watching the movie than reading.
same:everybody likes at least some of the classics —i sure do. just not all of them,and wondering why “beloved”gets into the “classics”category.
madame d.:now that’s funny. i hate it,too,when oprah or someone else takes something i like and co-opts it for their own evil purposes. hate it hate it hate it.
and “catcher”hasn’t aged well,has it?
michelle:thanks for the props. “gone with the wind”is one of those novels you’re better off watching the movie than reading.
same:everybody likes at least some of the classics —i sure do. just not all of them,and wondering why “beloved”gets into the “classics”category.
bernita:thank you for the comment. that’s bookfraud:honest to a fault. har har.
steve:a half-read book sitting in the backseat of a car is like a half-eaten apple in the backseat of a car —moldy and nasty,just throw it out.
and a man wants what a man wants,eh?
bernita:thank you for the comment. that’s bookfraud:honest to a fault. har har.
steve:a half-read book sitting in the backseat of a car is like a half-eaten apple in the backseat of a car —moldy and nasty,just throw it out.
and a man wants what a man wants,eh?
Oh,no. I was l-i-v-i-d. And so was my crack. I’m sure.
I worship at the Church of Rabbit Angstrom,but a book that made me feel empty after reading it (recently) was Marilyn Robinson’s Gilead. I had to read it in shifts.
Now I’m going to run for cover before something big and heavy and electrical falls on my head.
Oh,no. I was l-i-v-i-d. And so was my crack. I’m sure.
I worship at the Church of Rabbit Angstrom,but a book that made me feel empty after reading it (recently) was Marilyn Robinson’s Gilead. I had to read it in shifts.
Now I’m going to run for cover before something big and heavy and electrical falls on my head.
To those who “never plan to read a book by Toni Morrison”–If you’ve never read a Toni Morrison book,you really can’t comment on it. Reading a book,even if you dislike it,at least gives your commentary credibility.
As for Irving,I would say Garp and Hotel N.H. are tied for his all time best work. I’ve been so disappointed with his last couple of books (Fourth Hand,Until I Find You). I’m hoping he has another Widow for One Year in him.
To those who “never plan to read a book by Toni Morrison”–If you’ve never read a Toni Morrison book,you really can’t comment on it. Reading a book,even if you dislike it,at least gives your commentary credibility.
As for Irving,I would say Garp and Hotel N.H. are tied for his all time best work. I’ve been so disappointed with his last couple of books (Fourth Hand,Until I Find You). I’m hoping he has another Widow for One Year in him.
Apparently as a white male (I’m assuming),you cannot understand literature that doesn’t put you central to the story. Was it you who said that Nancy Drew is nothing but a sexed-up Hardy Boy?
Apparently as a white male (I’m assuming),you cannot understand literature that doesn’t put you central to the story. Was it you who said that Nancy Drew is nothing but a sexed-up Hardy Boy?
“The panel of ?experts? for choosing the best book of the last quarter-century was a who?s who of American letters young and old,and who the hell am I,an unpublished novelist with a bitter streak,to question their wisdom?”
! Who better for the job?! If you don’t,who will? And somebody’s got to. Novelists with a bitter streaks are more equipped to speak for me than the panel of “experts”the NYT recruited. I haven’t read Beloved so I can’t comment on the choice but I can say these kind of lists drive me crazy on principle. I never imagine the people behind them being sincere in their choices,but rather having a pissing contest with who’s read the more prestigious and literary books,like,“Oh noes,Bob’s picked ___,so I better one up him with ___. Hah! Take that,Bob!”At least,that’s how I console myself with the fact that The Chocolate War doesn’t usually make any of them.
Ah,now I’m being bitter. Oh well.
benny:it’s good to know that literature can stir the emotions of our nation’s youth (youth compared to me).
did “gilead”make you feel empty in a good or bad way? and get some cover.
collin:agreed. at least i’ve read 1.5 toni morrison books.
as much as i love “garp,”“a prayer for owen meany”is my favorite,as it seems to be for a lot of folk…
neil:right you are. i only relate to novels with neurotic white male hebrew protagonists,which,fortunately,comprises about 50 percent of american literature.
i didn’t say nancy drew was a “sexed up”hardy boy,just someone confused about his sexual identity. that’s all.
benny:it’s good to know that literature can stir the emotions of our nation’s youth (youth compared to me).
did “gilead”make you feel empty in a good or bad way? and get some cover.
collin:agreed. at least i’ve read 1.5 toni morrison books.
as much as i love “garp,”“a prayer for owen meany”is my favorite,as it seems to be for a lot of folk…
neil:right you are. i only relate to novels with neurotic white male hebrew protagonists,which,fortunately,comprises about 50 percent of american literature.
i didn’t say nancy drew was a “sexed up”hardy boy,just someone confused about his sexual identity. that’s all.
“The panel of ?experts? for choosing the best book of the last quarter-century was a who?s who of American letters young and old,and who the hell am I,an unpublished novelist with a bitter streak,to question their wisdom?”
! Who better for the job?! If you don’t,who will? And somebody’s got to. Novelists with a bitter streaks are more equipped to speak for me than the panel of “experts”the NYT recruited. I haven’t read Beloved so I can’t comment on the choice but I can say these kind of lists drive me crazy on principle. I never imagine the people behind them being sincere in their choices,but rather having a pissing contest with who’s read the more prestigious and literary books,like,“Oh noes,Bob’s picked ___,so I better one up him with ___. Hah! Take that,Bob!”At least,that’s how I console myself with the fact that The Chocolate War doesn’t usually make any of them.
Ah,now I’m being bitter. Oh well.
“The panel of ?experts? for choosing the best book of the last quarter-century was a who?s who of American letters young and old,and who the hell am I,an unpublished novelist with a bitter streak,to question their wisdom?”
! Who better for the job?! If you don’t,who will? And somebody’s got to. Novelists with a bitter streaks are more equipped to speak for me than the panel of “experts”the NYT recruited. I haven’t read Beloved so I can’t comment on the choice but I can say these kind of lists drive me crazy on principle. I never imagine the people behind them being sincere in their choices,but rather having a pissing contest with who’s read the more prestigious and literary books,like,“Oh noes,Bob’s picked ___,so I better one up him with ___. Hah! Take that,Bob!”At least,that’s how I console myself with the fact that The Chocolate War doesn’t usually make any of them.
Ah,now I’m being bitter. Oh well.
O stared in the movie version. Which is probably why it made her book club. I watched that peice of crap and would really like those 2+ hours of my life back.
O stared in the movie version. Which is probably why it made her book club. I watched that peice of crap and would really like those 2+ hours of my life back.
O stared in the movie version. Which is probably why it made her book club. I watched that peice of crap and would really like those 2+ hours of my life back.
If its got oprahs imprimatur I wouldn’t touch it wid a ten foot pole
So let me get this straight. If the reader can’t always understand what’s happening then that makes it good writing? I feel like she’s saying that her readers are idiots if they can’t follow her train of thought. I’ve read several of her books and they’re all the same:dense,opaque,and slightly boring. Is this the standard by which great literature is judged nowadays?
Bad-empty. The writing was just so bland,I felt like there was nothing to hold onto. Like trying to sludge through Josephine Hart,but longer,and more ambitiously empty.
Fraud,I’m 92 years old. I just thought I should let you know.
If its got oprahs imprimatur I wouldn’t touch it wid a ten foot pole
If its got oprahs imprimatur I wouldn’t touch it wid a ten foot pole
So let me get this straight. If the reader can’t always understand what’s happening then that makes it good writing? I feel like she’s saying that her readers are idiots if they can’t follow her train of thought. I’ve read several of her books and they’re all the same:dense,opaque,and slightly boring. Is this the standard by which great literature is judged nowadays?
So let me get this straight. If the reader can’t always understand what’s happening then that makes it good writing? I feel like she’s saying that her readers are idiots if they can’t follow her train of thought. I’ve read several of her books and they’re all the same:dense,opaque,and slightly boring. Is this the standard by which great literature is judged nowadays?
No,I think the remark stands on its merit.
Bad-empty. The writing was just so bland,I felt like there was nothing to hold onto. Like trying to sludge through Josephine Hart,but longer,and more ambitiously empty.
Fraud,I’m 92 years old. I just thought I should let you know.
Bad-empty. The writing was just so bland,I felt like there was nothing to hold onto. Like trying to sludge through Josephine Hart,but longer,and more ambitiously empty.
Fraud,I’m 92 years old. I just thought I should let you know.
No,I think the remark stands on its merit.
No,I think the remark stands on its merit.
courtney:i may be as qualified as anybody,but nobody in power is listening to my opinion.
don’t do bitter. it wears down the soul.
doublebagger:the worst feeling after a movie. i don’t think i could stand watching “beloved”as a flick,guns pointed at my head and all.
fritz:jonathan franzen said the same thing.
rebecca:you’d be surprised what is considered great literature these days,and density is often confused with profundity.
benny:sorry “gilead”was a bummber. and you’re not 92,not even in dog years.
br.:you don’t even merit a response.
I’ve never found Morrison’s writing bland…opaque in places maybe,but never bland. Reading one of her books is a challenge…it’s not beach reading. You have to concentrate and really “read”every line rather than skim,which is what most people do when they read. If I want to skim and read bland,I’ll go get DaVinci Code or John Grisham.
courtney:i may be as qualified as anybody,but nobody in power is listening to my opinion.
don’t do bitter. it wears down the soul.
doublebagger:the worst feeling after a movie. i don’t think i could stand watching “beloved”as a flick,guns pointed at my head and all.
fritz:jonathan franzen said the same thing.
courtney:i may be as qualified as anybody,but nobody in power is listening to my opinion.
don’t do bitter. it wears down the soul.
doublebagger:the worst feeling after a movie. i don’t think i could stand watching “beloved”as a flick,guns pointed at my head and all.
fritz:jonathan franzen said the same thing.
rebecca:you’d be surprised what is considered great literature these days,and density is often confused with profundity.
benny:sorry “gilead”was a bummber. and you’re not 92,not even in dog years.
br.:you don’t even merit a response.
rebecca:you’d be surprised what is considered great literature these days,and density is often confused with profundity.
benny:sorry “gilead”was a bummber. and you’re not 92,not even in dog years.
br.:you don’t even merit a response.
I’ve never found Morrison’s writing bland…opaque in places maybe,but never bland. Reading one of her books is a challenge…it’s not beach reading. You have to concentrate and really “read”every line rather than skim,which is what most people do when they read. If I want to skim and read bland,I’ll go get DaVinci Code or John Grisham.
I’ve never found Morrison’s writing bland…opaque in places maybe,but never bland. Reading one of her books is a challenge…it’s not beach reading. You have to concentrate and really “read”every line rather than skim,which is what most people do when they read. If I want to skim and read bland,I’ll go get DaVinci Code or John Grisham.