A Seriously Sick Posting
I’m doing great, aside from feeling like the burnt side of a grilled-cheese sandwich. Also, I have a headache, caused, I believe, from gremlins dancing inside my skull.
Did I tell you I was sick? Well, I’m telling you, I’m sick.
My weekend was spent in various fetal positions and immobility attributable to a non-lethal variant of the Martian death flu. In fact, the highlight of my Saturday to Sunday rest was making it to the bathroom before I stained myself.
In the "fun department," I rented "The 40 Year Old Virgin," which is quite a hoot, if you haven’t seen it. Really hit close to home.
I was unable to write anything resembling fiction or blog, and if you were wondering, "Gee, I miss that Bookfraud! I need something to hate," now you have an answer. Every time I sat down to type, my fingers went to jelly.
This illness had not disappeared by Monday morning, incapacitating me, in terms of coherence. So instead of my spot-on observations regarding the literary life, I’ll leave that to someone else, who raises the problem of blogging vs. writing.
Writing, in the sense of fiction, of course, as this woman shut down her blog because she wasn’t writing her novel. I don’t know why that a blog should get in the way of Making Literature, but I’ve been coughing up loogies that resemble the Crab Nebulae and I really don’t know what I’m talking about except make the voices stop.
The highlight of my day is eating soup, and I will shut up now, but not before leaving you with something so amazing that it is a miracle we’ve been able to survive all these years without them: ladies and gentlemen, I present the greatest dwarf KISS tribute band ever, MiniKiss.
81 comments
Eeeew, MiniKiss–that’s more disgusting than the description of your ailments. Hope you’re feeling all better by now.
The 40-Year-Old Virgin is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long, long time. Glad you got around to it…sorry you’re sick. Walk it off, mister, and get back to writing.
the best part was when they busted out with age of aquarius. AMAZing. soup = love. sorry you’re sick! its just your body’s way of telling you to chill the fuck out. have you eaten doritos? because they always make me feel better. get well!
Dude, it’s like regular KISS, only distilled so all the suckiness is gone.
Not really, but it’s a better analogy than saying that’s what happens when KISS is taken over by the Tall Man.
Eeeew, MiniKiss–that’s more disgusting than the description of your ailments. Hope you’re feeling all better by now.
Eeeew, MiniKiss–that’s more disgusting than the description of your ailments. Hope you’re feeling all better by now.
The 40-Year-Old Virgin is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long, long time. Glad you got around to it…sorry you’re sick. Walk it off, mister, and get back to writing.
The 40-Year-Old Virgin is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long, long time. Glad you got around to it…sorry you’re sick. Walk it off, mister, and get back to writing.
the best part was when they busted out with age of aquarius. AMAZing. soup = love. sorry you’re sick! its just your body’s way of telling you to chill the fuck out. have you eaten doritos? because they always make me feel better. get well!
the best part was when they busted out with age of aquarius. AMAZing. soup = love. sorry you’re sick! its just your body’s way of telling you to chill the fuck out. have you eaten doritos? because they always make me feel better. get well!
Dude, it’s like regular KISS, only distilled so all the suckiness is gone.
Not really, but it’s a better analogy than saying that’s what happens when KISS is taken over by the Tall Man.
Dude, it’s like regular KISS, only distilled so all the suckiness is gone.
Not really, but it’s a better analogy than saying that’s what happens when KISS is taken over by the Tall Man.
Moral: First write your book – then blog.
Of course, you may never write the second book, but…
Bookfraud, I’ve never heard “coughing up loogies that resemble the Crab Nebulae” before. You must be a writer or something.
Who knew?
Enjoy catatonia on your bed. You deserve it. Then get well and consider more constellations.
e.p.: minikiss is going to rock ‘n’ roll all nite. and party every day. but that has not meant i feel better by now.
collin: i couldn’t get wife to see the movie in the theater. wrong she was. i am walking around, like a benadryl zombie.
dora: you have a big heart. i’ve been drinking soup day and night. you’re right i do need to chill the fuck out, but i don’t think doritos is the way to go.
madame d.: “suckiness is gone”? there is no suckiness in kiss! how about “kiss without the chlamydia.”
i think “giantkiss” would be cool, too.
bernita: spot on. fiction is why i don’t write the blog every day. that, and i don’t have much to say.
michele: you know, i should have said “crab nebula,” not “nebulae,” which shows you what kinda writer i am; that is, a sloppy one. and thanks for the get-well wishes.
I thought I had the Martian death flu once. Turned out to be Venusian syphillis. Ouch. Lemme tell ya. Just…ouch.
Take care and if you write a really faboo post when you get back, I’ll tell you a secret about KISS that I guarantee you don’t know.
Moral: First write your book – then blog.
Of course, you may never write the second book, but…
Moral: First write your book – then blog.
Of course, you may never write the second book, but…
Bookfraud, I’ve never heard “coughing up loogies that resemble the Crab Nebulae” before. You must be a writer or something.
Who knew?
Enjoy catatonia on your bed. You deserve it. Then get well and consider more constellations.
Bookfraud, I’ve never heard “coughing up loogies that resemble the Crab Nebulae” before. You must be a writer or something.
Who knew?
Enjoy catatonia on your bed. You deserve it. Then get well and consider more constellations.
e.p.: minikiss is going to rock ‘n’ roll all nite. and party every day. but that has not meant i feel better by now.
collin: i couldn’t get wife to see the movie in the theater. wrong she was. i am walking around, like a benadryl zombie.
dora: you have a big heart. i’ve been drinking soup day and night. you’re right i do need to chill the fuck out, but i don’t think doritos is the way to go.
e.p.: minikiss is going to rock ‘n’ roll all nite. and party every day. but that has not meant i feel better by now.
collin: i couldn’t get wife to see the movie in the theater. wrong she was. i am walking around, like a benadryl zombie.
dora: you have a big heart. i’ve been drinking soup day and night. you’re right i do need to chill the fuck out, but i don’t think doritos is the way to go.
madame d.: “suckiness is gone”? there is no suckiness in kiss! how about “kiss without the chlamydia.”
i think “giantkiss” would be cool, too.
bernita: spot on. fiction is why i don’t write the blog every day. that, and i don’t have much to say.
michele: you know, i should have said “crab nebula,” not “nebulae,” which shows you what kinda writer i am; that is, a sloppy one. and thanks for the get-well wishes.
madame d.: “suckiness is gone”? there is no suckiness in kiss! how about “kiss without the chlamydia.”
i think “giantkiss” would be cool, too.
bernita: spot on. fiction is why i don’t write the blog every day. that, and i don’t have much to say.
michele: you know, i should have said “crab nebula,” not “nebulae,” which shows you what kinda writer i am; that is, a sloppy one. and thanks for the get-well wishes.
I thought I had the Martian death flu once. Turned out to be Venusian syphillis. Ouch. Lemme tell ya. Just…ouch.
Take care and if you write a really faboo post when you get back, I’ll tell you a secret about KISS that I guarantee you don’t know.
I thought I had the Martian death flu once. Turned out to be Venusian syphillis. Ouch. Lemme tell ya. Just…ouch.
Take care and if you write a really faboo post when you get back, I’ll tell you a secret about KISS that I guarantee you don’t know.
Oh, wow… Oh… wow…
Oh, wow… Oh… wow…
Oh, wow… Oh… wow…
Please get well soon.
Thanks for the laugh. Dwarf Kiss tribute band…Who knew?
I too, am getting over The Plague, so I feel your pain. I find the best way to get rid of cold germs is to find a way to scare them the hell out of your system.
Or maybe that is hiccups…?
There is no reason blogging should get in the way of Literature Making (and thanks to this entry, I just realised I am no longer going to tell people I want to be a writer, but a Literature Maker, as that is infinitely cooler). Time management, people! If you can have the plague and blog, there is no reason why a perfectly healthy person can’t blog and make literature.
Take care of yourself and get better!
Mini KISS, whoda thunk it!!
Please get well soon.
Thanks for the laugh. Dwarf Kiss tribute band…Who knew?
Please get well soon.
Thanks for the laugh. Dwarf Kiss tribute band…Who knew?
I too, am getting over The Plague, so I feel your pain. I find the best way to get rid of cold germs is to find a way to scare them the hell out of your system.
Or maybe that is hiccups…?
There is no reason blogging should get in the way of Literature Making (and thanks to this entry, I just realised I am no longer going to tell people I want to be a writer, but a Literature Maker, as that is infinitely cooler). Time management, people! If you can have the plague and blog, there is no reason why a perfectly healthy person can’t blog and make literature.
Take care of yourself and get better!
I too, am getting over The Plague, so I feel your pain. I find the best way to get rid of cold germs is to find a way to scare them the hell out of your system.
Or maybe that is hiccups…?
There is no reason blogging should get in the way of Literature Making (and thanks to this entry, I just realised I am no longer going to tell people I want to be a writer, but a Literature Maker, as that is infinitely cooler). Time management, people! If you can have the plague and blog, there is no reason why a perfectly healthy person can’t blog and make literature.
Take care of yourself and get better!
Mini KISS, whoda thunk it!!
Mini KISS, whoda thunk it!!
jordan: good to know i’ve taken your breath away.
mariemm3: it’s amazing what creative people will do these days.
courtney: you’re welcome, and glad to hear you’re getting over the plague. agree that it’s all about prioritization and time management. but i really don’t count this one as a true blog entry.
michelle: what’s interesting is i got the photo from a story about dueling dwarf kiss bands — another one, tinykiss, is getting into trouble with minikiss about who was first. this is true. i am not making this up.
jordan: good to know i’ve taken your breath away.
mariemm3: it’s amazing what creative people will do these days.
jordan: good to know i’ve taken your breath away.
mariemm3: it’s amazing what creative people will do these days.
courtney: you’re welcome, and glad to hear you’re getting over the plague. agree that it’s all about prioritization and time management. but i really don’t count this one as a true blog entry.
michelle: what’s interesting is i got the photo from a story about dueling dwarf kiss bands — another one, tinykiss, is getting into trouble with minikiss about who was first. this is true. i am not making this up.
courtney: you’re welcome, and glad to hear you’re getting over the plague. agree that it’s all about prioritization and time management. but i really don’t count this one as a true blog entry.
michelle: what’s interesting is i got the photo from a story about dueling dwarf kiss bands — another one, tinykiss, is getting into trouble with minikiss about who was first. this is true. i am not making this up.
Fraudly, your post makes me feel sick each time I read it. I hope you’re feeling better by now, and if so, you need to post something that isn’t so “snot-green and scrotum-tightening.”
Please. For the love of writers with suck-ass medical benefits everywhere.
I’m not sure I want to know why the “40 Year Old Virgin” “hit so close to home.
Feel better man.
Fraudly, your post makes me feel sick each time I read it. I hope you’re feeling better by now, and if so, you need to post something that isn’t so “snot-green and scrotum-tightening.”
Please. For the love of writers with suck-ass medical benefits everywhere.
Fraudly, your post makes me feel sick each time I read it. I hope you’re feeling better by now, and if so, you need to post something that isn’t so “snot-green and scrotum-tightening.”
Please. For the love of writers with suck-ass medical benefits everywhere.
I’m not sure I want to know why the “40 Year Old Virgin” “hit so close to home.
Feel better man.
I’m not sure I want to know why the “40 Year Old Virgin” “hit so close to home.
Feel better man.
I hope you feel much better.
I hope you feel much better.
I hope you feel much better.
b: sorry that i’ve turned your stomach. but i didn’t say anything about green snot, however apropos.
phoenix: i withhold comment re: 40 year old virgins.
doubleb: thank you. unfortunately, i still feel like death and won’t post anything until next week, as i go out of town for a trip that would probably best be served with a postponement, but since the deposit is paid, etc., i gotta go.
That is the funniest post I have read in a long time. I can always count on your blog to make me spit out my diet coke. Even when you are close to death.
By now, I am sure you are well and on your way to a MiniKiss gig.
b: sorry that i’ve turned your stomach. but i didn’t say anything about green snot, however apropos.
phoenix: i withhold comment re: 40 year old virgins.
doubleb: thank you. unfortunately, i still feel like death and won’t post anything until next week, as i go out of town for a trip that would probably best be served with a postponement, but since the deposit is paid, etc., i gotta go.
b: sorry that i’ve turned your stomach. but i didn’t say anything about green snot, however apropos.
phoenix: i withhold comment re: 40 year old virgins.
doubleb: thank you. unfortunately, i still feel like death and won’t post anything until next week, as i go out of town for a trip that would probably best be served with a postponement, but since the deposit is paid, etc., i gotta go.
That is the funniest post I have read in a long time. I can always count on your blog to make me spit out my diet coke. Even when you are close to death.
By now, I am sure you are well and on your way to a MiniKiss gig.
That is the funniest post I have read in a long time. I can always count on your blog to make me spit out my diet coke. Even when you are close to death.
By now, I am sure you are well and on your way to a MiniKiss gig.
I want to know the Kiss secret! Tell! Tell! Tell!
I want to know the Kiss secret! Tell! Tell! Tell!
I want to know the Kiss secret! Tell! Tell! Tell!
Darling, it was Joyce! HE said something about snot.
Darling, it was Joyce! HE said something about snot.
Darling, it was Joyce! HE said something about snot.
I hope you’re feeling better by now.
I hope you’re feeling better by now.
I hope you’re feeling better by now.
Not sure if my previous post went through. Enjoyed this post, so very funny. I fell from my chair, now back on my chair reading Slate.com which I always enjoy. LOL
Sorry to hear you have fallen ill. Get well soon.
Not sure if my previous post went through. Enjoyed this post, so very funny. I fell from my chair, now back on my chair reading Slate.com which I always enjoy. LOL
Sorry to hear you have fallen ill. Get well soon.
Not sure if my previous post went through. Enjoyed this post, so very funny. I fell from my chair, now back on my chair reading Slate.com which I always enjoy. LOL
Sorry to hear you have fallen ill. Get well soon.
Do we need to send the CSI team over there?
alex: glad you enjoyed the show. minikiss sold out as soon as tickets went on sale.
minge: yes, brian, what about that kiss story, dude?
b: being that i am no joycean, and being that he wrote of many things, and being that snot descriptions are a dime a dozen, you may understand why i didn’t get the reference.
moncrief: thanks for the get-well wishes, i’m doing better.
kathleen: i hope you didn’t get hurt falling off that chair.
collin: as long as you send the csi team with the hot chicks. a new post will be here soon. but don’t get your hopes up.
Do we need to send the CSI team over there?
Do we need to send the CSI team over there?
alex: glad you enjoyed the show. minikiss sold out as soon as tickets went on sale.
minge: yes, brian, what about that kiss story, dude?
b: being that i am no joycean, and being that he wrote of many things, and being that snot descriptions are a dime a dozen, you may understand why i didn’t get the reference.
alex: glad you enjoyed the show. minikiss sold out as soon as tickets went on sale.
minge: yes, brian, what about that kiss story, dude?
b: being that i am no joycean, and being that he wrote of many things, and being that snot descriptions are a dime a dozen, you may understand why i didn’t get the reference.
moncrief: thanks for the get-well wishes, i’m doing better.
kathleen: i hope you didn’t get hurt falling off that chair.
collin: as long as you send the csi team with the hot chicks. a new post will be here soon. but don’t get your hopes up.
moncrief: thanks for the get-well wishes, i’m doing better.
kathleen: i hope you didn’t get hurt falling off that chair.
collin: as long as you send the csi team with the hot chicks. a new post will be here soon. but don’t get your hopes up.