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I am in great debt to Pytor Ilyich Tchaikovsky, which is an odd statement about a composer dead for 110 years, and also considering I failed music from first grade onward.
One of Tchaikovsky’s most famous works is his Piano Concerto No. 1. I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now, as Wife and I recently went to hear it performed (it rocked! and I don’t want to hear from you snobs and musicians that it’s an overrated, overplayed Romantic warhorse based on bombast and treacle. I don’t care what you think. You pompous ass! I challenge you to a duel!)
The concerto actually played role in my courtship of Wife. She called me one afternoon when we were dating, and I heard music playing in the background. I identified it as Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto — she was duly impressed.
Needs a hand
But Mr. Tchaikovsky — or, as us connoisseurs say, “Chuck Kovsky” — also has improved my writing, or at least my mental state about the whole enterprise. How, you wonder? It starts with my favorite recording of the piece. Which is, hands down, is a benefit concert Vladimir Horowitz gave at Carnegie Hall in 1942 to help the war effort.
Something was in the air that day, because Horowitz tore through the concerto at about 10 times the speed at which I had ever heard it before. What amazes me is despite how fast he played, you can hear every note. It was the first recording by Horowitz I owned, and I’ve been hooked ever since.
To hear Horowitz play what became his signature piece — Rachmaninoff’s Third Piano Concerto, the pianist’s equivalent of bowling a perfect game six times in a row — one is consumed with a single thought: The guy cut a deal with the devil. Horowitz plays Rachmaninoff with the same ease as the thought “I like money, sex and food” passes through my mind.
Playing a recital, in particular, must be one of the most difficult performance challenges in the world. You mess up on the field, you have teammates who can help you. You miss an overhead volley, there’s other points to be played. You’re Keith Richards, mess up a few chords, and everybody thinks you did it on purpose.
But when you’re playing a concert, you’re expected to play flawlessly, every time. One assumes that a pianist of Horowitz’s stature must have been made of Olympian demeanor, possessed supreme self-confidence, and was constitutionally incapable of harboring one shred of self-doubt.
But Horowitz’s exterior did not match the demons within, as he suffered from depression and questioned his sexuality. Those things don’t surprise me. This is nothing new in the world of artists, performing or otherwise (for those of you bored but who have bothered to read this far, think of Axel Rose, Kurt Cobain, and Jim Morrison).
What amazes me, what I find hard to fathom, is the man lost confidence in himself. There were long stretches of his life when Horowitz just gave up concerts completely, giving either recitals or nothing at all. He thought he’d lost it.
But not even that is the factor that ties Tchaikovsky to Horowitz to my writing. There were times when Horowitz was so unsure of himself, so scared of failure, that he had to be pushed on stage. I imagine that this is not as uncommon as I would like to believe — especially when it comes to actors, say, I dunno, George Clooney — but Horowitz was not just any pianist. Vladimir Horowitz is considered among the two or three best — perhaps the very best — pianist of the 20th Century.
The thought that dear Vlad doubted his ability to play is like Shakespeare thinking he can’t rhyme words. It is like Ella Fitzgerald doubting her ability to sing or like Albert Einstein losing confidence in his ability to do calculus. Think of Tiger Woods quitting golf because the thought that if he went up to the tee and swung, he’d miss the ball completely.
Now, anybody who knows me will say that besides being an idiot, I suffer periodic pangs of self-doubt, as writers have done since Bordis the Caveman took a hammer and blunt instrument and carved the first novel into stone (and what a debut it was! “Astonishing!” the blurbs said, then Bordis’ promising career was ended prematurely by a wooly mammoth). My luck of late has leaned towards the ridiculous and hardly sublime, and at times I just think, maybe I don’t have the chops.
It is then that I think of Horowitz. I inevitably conjure an image of a bouncer throwing him on stage. There is no sure place on the precipice of art, no matter how talented you are. And if Horowitz thought he played the piano like a blind amputee, then I guess there’s room for my own self-doubt once in a while, even if it’s bullshit.
Mm-hmm. Right. Horowitz.
What did you think of the Oscars?
thanks for the insight
Mm-hmm. Right. Horowitz.
What did you think of the Oscars?
Mm-hmm. Right. Horowitz.
What did you think of the Oscars?
thanks for the insight
thanks for the insight
brian f.: don’t you dis vlad. i’ll come over and personally administer electroshock (as horowitz had).
i thought the oscars were ok, i guess. george was george; like jon stewart said, he was probably going to get some booty afterwards. maybe. and how about that three 6 mafia! that song really spoke to me. though i really miss debbie allen choreography.
michelle: you, on the other hand, are a highly sensitive and evolved soul.
Highly sensitive and evolved soul… Is that what the kids are calling brown nosers these days?
Man, I’m behind the times.
That’s depressing, to think of that poor guy being pushed on the stage. But it does prove I think, that we all lose objectivity when it comes to our work.
“And if Horowitz thought he played the piano like a blind amputee, then I guess there?s room for my own self-doubt once in a while, even if it?s bullshit.”
The trick is remembering it’s bullshit!!
brian f.: don’t you dis vlad. i’ll come over and personally administer electroshock (as horowitz had).
i thought the oscars were ok, i guess. george was george; like jon stewart said, he was probably going to get some booty afterwards. maybe. and how about that three 6 mafia! that song really spoke to me. though i really miss debbie allen choreography.
michelle: you, on the other hand, are a highly sensitive and evolved soul.
brian f.: don’t you dis vlad. i’ll come over and personally administer electroshock (as horowitz had).
i thought the oscars were ok, i guess. george was george; like jon stewart said, he was probably going to get some booty afterwards. maybe. and how about that three 6 mafia! that song really spoke to me. though i really miss debbie allen choreography.
michelle: you, on the other hand, are a highly sensitive and evolved soul.
Highly sensitive and evolved soul… Is that what the kids are calling brown nosers these days?
Man, I’m behind the times.
Highly sensitive and evolved soul… Is that what the kids are calling brown nosers these days?
Man, I’m behind the times.
This is encouraging. I’ll never doubt myself again, and when criticism comes along, I’ll reply with “This is no mere defecation, this is carefully sculpted fecal noir.”
PS – I was shocked to see not a single reference to 1812 Overture, the only Chuck comp I can identify. I think because of the cannonfire.
brian f.: yes, you are behind the times. the hot music played at bar-mitzvahs and weddings is “missa solemnis.” where have ya been?
somegirl: it is depressing to think that he had to be pushed on stage. but true. and you are right, remebering that it’s one’s own inner demons doubting ourselves is the way.
steve: as i’ve noted on your blog, you have a way with words. gotta admit, fecal noir is funny.
p.s. i didn’t mention “the nutcracker” (har har) or “romeo and juliet,” either. but the cannons in the 1812 are great. i think ac/dc stole the idea for their classic “for those about to rock (we salute you).” see how relevant classical music is today?
That’s depressing, to think of that poor guy being pushed on the stage. But it does prove I think, that we all lose objectivity when it comes to our work.
“And if Horowitz thought he played the piano like a blind amputee, then I guess there?s room for my own self-doubt once in a while, even if it?s bullshit.”
The trick is remembering it’s bullshit!!
That’s depressing, to think of that poor guy being pushed on the stage. But it does prove I think, that we all lose objectivity when it comes to our work.
“And if Horowitz thought he played the piano like a blind amputee, then I guess there?s room for my own self-doubt once in a while, even if it?s bullshit.”
The trick is remembering it’s bullshit!!
This is encouraging. I’ll never doubt myself again, and when criticism comes along, I’ll reply with “This is no mere defecation, this is carefully sculpted fecal noir.”
This is encouraging. I’ll never doubt myself again, and when criticism comes along, I’ll reply with “This is no mere defecation, this is carefully sculpted fecal noir.”
PS – I was shocked to see not a single reference to 1812 Overture, the only Chuck comp I can identify. I think because of the cannonfire.
PS – I was shocked to see not a single reference to 1812 Overture, the only Chuck comp I can identify. I think because of the cannonfire.
brian f.: yes, you are behind the times. the hot music played at bar-mitzvahs and weddings is “missa solemnis.” where have ya been?
somegirl: it is depressing to think that he had to be pushed on stage. but true. and you are right, remebering that it’s one’s own inner demons doubting ourselves is the way.
steve: as i’ve noted on your blog, you have a way with words. gotta admit, fecal noir is funny.
p.s. i didn’t mention “the nutcracker” (har har) or “romeo and juliet,” either. but the cannons in the 1812 are great. i think ac/dc stole the idea for their classic “for those about to rock (we salute you).” see how relevant classical music is today?
brian f.: yes, you are behind the times. the hot music played at bar-mitzvahs and weddings is “missa solemnis.” where have ya been?
somegirl: it is depressing to think that he had to be pushed on stage. but true. and you are right, remebering that it’s one’s own inner demons doubting ourselves is the way.
steve: as i’ve noted on your blog, you have a way with words. gotta admit, fecal noir is funny.
p.s. i didn’t mention “the nutcracker” (har har) or “romeo and juliet,” either. but the cannons in the 1812 are great. i think ac/dc stole the idea for their classic “for those about to rock (we salute you).” see how relevant classical music is today?
I feel inspired to buy some good music. Look out, Amazon.com!
hey! I saw/heard Van Cliburn play that in 1962 when I was twelve years old- I dragged my friends to the airport to greet him, got signatures on every album I had! I adored him, later getting to meet him in college at Univ of Arizona in 1969-
It still is one of my favorite pieces of music, predictable and beautiful as it is!
I feel inspired to buy some good music. Look out, Amazon.com!
I feel inspired to buy some good music. Look out, Amazon.com!
hey! I saw/heard Van Cliburn play that in 1962 when I was twelve years old- I dragged my friends to the airport to greet him, got signatures on every album I had! I adored him, later getting to meet him in college at Univ of Arizona in 1969-
It still is one of my favorite pieces of music, predictable and beautiful as it is!
hey! I saw/heard Van Cliburn play that in 1962 when I was twelve years old- I dragged my friends to the airport to greet him, got signatures on every album I had! I adored him, later getting to meet him in college at Univ of Arizona in 1969-
It still is one of my favorite pieces of music, predictable and beautiful as it is!
Hi BF,
Tis moi who has been gone from the blogosphere until now. I’m glad you’re writing again! It was super to see a comment on my blog. Fascinating post! Wow, would I like to converse with you about this post or with you and your wife. IT elicits so many memories.
Although my blog is named after a song by the “Beach Boys”, you have chosen to write about classical music that I not only adore, but that also has special meaning for me. I like a variety of music, but these composers have extra special signficance to me. (None played a role in my hubba hubba’s courtship of me, though.)
While giving birth the first time, I brought Rachmaninoff’s music with me. IT’s 3 a.m. here and I can’t remember which # piece. (I’d recognize it if I heard it.) I used to fall asleep listening to that piece.
As for Tchaicovsky and Horowitz’s piano genius of his work: yummmmmmm. I like both musicians. I didn’t know that he needed to be pushed on stage.
I do believe listening to them when I was younger spurred me to encourage our daugthers to take piano lessons.
Much earlier we’d have them fall asleep to classical music, but we’re not “hoity toity” so there were also normal lullabyes, but all without words because I didn’t want their sleep disturbed. Music alwasy calmed the crying or a good rocking chair hug beforehand. Do you like Handel’s “Water Music?”
Hi BF,
Tis moi who has been gone from the blogosphere until now. I’m glad you’re writing again! It was super to see a comment on my blog. Fascinating post! Wow, would I like to converse with you about this post or with you and your wife. IT elicits so many memories.
Although my blog is named after a song by the “Beach Boys”, you have chosen to write about classical music that I not only adore, but that also has special meaning for me. I like a variety of music, but these composers have extra special signficance to me. (None played a role in my hubba hubba’s courtship of me, though.)
While giving birth the first time, I brought Rachmaninoff’s music with me. IT’s 3 a.m. here and I can’t remember which # piece. (I’d recognize it if I heard it.) I used to fall asleep listening to that piece.
As for Tchaicovsky and Horowitz’s piano genius of his work: yummmmmmm. I like both musicians. I didn’t know that he needed to be pushed on stage.
I do believe listening to them when I was younger spurred me to encourage our daugthers to take piano lessons.
Much earlier we’d have them fall asleep to classical music, but we’re not “hoity toity” so there were also normal lullabyes, but all without words because I didn’t want their sleep disturbed. Music alwasy calmed the crying or a good rocking chair hug beforehand. Do you like Handel’s “Water Music?”
Hi BF,
Tis moi who has been gone from the blogosphere until now. I’m glad you’re writing again! It was super to see a comment on my blog. Fascinating post! Wow, would I like to converse with you about this post or with you and your wife. IT elicits so many memories.
Although my blog is named after a song by the “Beach Boys”, you have chosen to write about classical music that I not only adore, but that also has special meaning for me. I like a variety of music, but these composers have extra special signficance to me. (None played a role in my hubba hubba’s courtship of me, though.)
While giving birth the first time, I brought Rachmaninoff’s music with me. IT’s 3 a.m. here and I can’t remember which # piece. (I’d recognize it if I heard it.) I used to fall asleep listening to that piece.
As for Tchaicovsky and Horowitz’s piano genius of his work: yummmmmmm. I like both musicians. I didn’t know that he needed to be pushed on stage.
I do believe listening to them when I was younger spurred me to encourage our daugthers to take piano lessons.
Much earlier we’d have them fall asleep to classical music, but we’re not “hoity toity” so there were also normal lullabyes, but all without words because I didn’t want their sleep disturbed. Music alwasy calmed the crying or a good rocking chair hug beforehand. Do you like Handel’s “Water Music?”
ep: i am glad to have contributed to the sale of classical music in this great nation. it needs all the help it can get.
shann: you are one lucky dog. van clyburn! the one man who has sold a million-selling classical LP. i like how you say “beautiful and predictable,” for every time i hear it, i get something new from it.
gel: i’m (sincerely) touched. maybe the “rach 3″ is what you’re thinking of? i’m not that keen on the rest of his work.
you raise an interesting point: people get the impression that classical music is somehow “hoity toity,” when in fact, it’s just music, and for several centuries it was the only type of music for the european masses. (and yes, i like water music.)
ep: i am glad to have contributed to the sale of classical music in this great nation. it needs all the help it can get.
shann: you are one lucky dog. van clyburn! the one man who has sold a million-selling classical LP. i like how you say “beautiful and predictable,” for every time i hear it, i get something new from it.
gel: i’m (sincerely) touched. maybe the “rach 3″ is what you’re thinking of? i’m not that keen on the rest of his work.
you raise an interesting point: people get the impression that classical music is somehow “hoity toity,” when in fact, it’s just music, and for several centuries it was the only type of music for the european masses. (and yes, i like water music.)
ep: i am glad to have contributed to the sale of classical music in this great nation. it needs all the help it can get.
shann: you are one lucky dog. van clyburn! the one man who has sold a million-selling classical LP. i like how you say “beautiful and predictable,” for every time i hear it, i get something new from it.
gel: i’m (sincerely) touched. maybe the “rach 3″ is what you’re thinking of? i’m not that keen on the rest of his work.
you raise an interesting point: people get the impression that classical music is somehow “hoity toity,” when in fact, it’s just music, and for several centuries it was the only type of music for the european masses. (and yes, i like water music.)
Yeah, why do people think classical music is hoity toity? Speaking as a trained classical musician (shudder, I know) I think it is partly because all us musos are so snobby about it. Yes, it is just music, and it should be enjoyed on that basis, and that piano concerto rocks!
Yeah, why do people think classical music is hoity toity? Speaking as a trained classical musician (shudder, I know) I think it is partly because all us musos are so snobby about it. Yes, it is just music, and it should be enjoyed on that basis, and that piano concerto rocks!
Yeah, why do people think classical music is hoity toity? Speaking as a trained classical musician (shudder, I know) I think it is partly because all us musos are so snobby about it. Yes, it is just music, and it should be enjoyed on that basis, and that piano concerto rocks!
an old friend of mine was mr. music — he was a pianist, composer, and academic. if there ever was someone who was born to be a music snob, he was it, but he was never that way at all. while he analyzed music intellectually, he also could enjoy it for what it was (he even thought it was ok to clap between movements).
an old friend of mine was mr. music — he was a pianist, composer, and academic. if there ever was someone who was born to be a music snob, he was it, but he was never that way at all. while he analyzed music intellectually, he also could enjoy it for what it was (he even thought it was ok to clap between movements).
an old friend of mine was mr. music — he was a pianist, composer, and academic. if there ever was someone who was born to be a music snob, he was it, but he was never that way at all. while he analyzed music intellectually, he also could enjoy it for what it was (he even thought it was ok to clap between movements).
I remember reading that Rachmaninoff sort of stopped playing his own music after Horowitz. That’s scary. That’s like letting someone else getting your writing so well you don’t have to come up with the stories anymore. Good stuff.