Ever had one of those days when every word is torture, every preposition feels wrong, and every simile comes across like…like…like…hell, I dunno.
This is one of those days.
I had planned to write for this space a contextual analysis of Cicero’s later speeches, but this writer has no energy for it. In fact, I have no energy for anything except saying that I have no energy for anything and repeating it henceforth. I don’t know if this is a cold, allergies, or the effects of repeated exposure to the harsh elements of the Northeast. Maybe due to those goddamn moths that have infested our apartment all summer. But the last frickin’ think I want to do is write, fiction, blogging, or otherwise.
I’ve bellyached about my health in the past, offering it up as an excuse for a lame posting. And I’ve recently sang the many virtues of coffee. That made me wonder what, precisely, is more fun to write: bitching or praise?
Bitching, hands down. I could sing the praises of Jackie Chan, Judge Judy, Invisible Man, and Schubert until my fingers are ground into dust. I could say how great a writer Wife is, scoring many brownie points to cash in when eventually I make the inevitable Husband Fuckup. I could tell you why the Cubs epitomize good, why Pynchon is a god, and why Kurosawa rocks my world.
Born to write
But why do that when I can say that the Cardinals embody evil, Raymond Carver is a fraud (keep those cards and letters coming!), and why The Pillow Book sucks ass. That’s more fun, less challenging, and ultimately more rewarding, if only because all the Cardinal, Carver, and Greenaway fans reading this are feeling their blood boil to the temperature at which steel melts. Forget the love, feel the hate!
It really is remarkable how much jealousy and anger fuels writers, particularly writers of fiction, whose jealousy of another’s work can destroy their own fragile sense of self-esteem.
But I’m thinking of something else, actually. Once, in college, some friends and I were going to take some extremely attractive ladies dancing, but a brain-dead co-ed got the idea it would be wonderful instead to see a midnight showing of Purple Rain (which she’d already seen six times). Everybody thought this a good idea except for yours truly, who was never a Prince fan and didn’t envision getting any bootie in a movie theater.
As a result, I went home in a fury, and composed a three-page letter outlining Why I Hate Prince and Why People Are Stupid. I mailed it that night to a friend. I never know what happened to that letter (the friend and I haven’t spoken in 13 years) or even if the letter was any good (no computers in the good ol’ days of the early 80s). But it did get my juices flowing.
So much, in fact, that the mere thought of it has gotten me to write this entire posting without help of coffee, bootie, or “1999″ ringing in my ears. Who needs coffee? Let’s hear it for bitching! Hoo-fucking-ray!
Ha ha. On the first day of a fiction workshop the prof asked us what types of writing we liked and which we didn’t like. I picked Raymond Carver as the writer I didn’t like. Well, out of all the writers in the world I could have picked out this was the worst possible one. The prof thought Carver was a god. Maybe the bastard liked a very bland god. I don’t know. What I do know is that he attacked me in every workshop like I was his redheaded step child. I slithered out of that one with a B…of course I derserved better…
Ha ha. On the first day of a fiction workshop the prof asked us what types of writing we liked and which we didn’t like. I picked Raymond Carver as the writer I didn’t like. Well, out of all the writers in the world I could have picked out this was the worst possible one. The prof thought Carver was a god. Maybe the bastard liked a very bland god. I don’t know. What I do know is that he attacked me in every workshop like I was his redheaded step child. I slithered out of that one with a B…of course I derserved better…
Ha ha. On the first day of a fiction workshop the prof asked us what types of writing we liked and which we didn’t like. I picked Raymond Carver as the writer I didn’t like. Well, out of all the writers in the world I could have picked out this was the worst possible one. The prof thought Carver was a god. Maybe the bastard liked a very bland god. I don’t know. What I do know is that he attacked me in every workshop like I was his redheaded step child. I slithered out of that one with a B…of course I derserved better…
I don’t really like Raymond Carver either and I don’t understand why Robert Altman decided to make “Short Cuts”..and more importantly, why did I watch that whole movie?
The pillow book has been suggested to me a thousand times! After this post I think I must read “The Pillow Book”
Fondly, Kathleen
I don’t really like Raymond Carver either and I don’t understand why Robert Altman decided to make “Short Cuts”..and more importantly, why did I watch that whole movie?
I don’t really like Raymond Carver either and I don’t understand why Robert Altman decided to make “Short Cuts”..and more importantly, why did I watch that whole movie?
The pillow book has been suggested to me a thousand times! After this post I think I must read “The Pillow Book”
Fondly, Kathleen
The pillow book has been suggested to me a thousand times! After this post I think I must read “The Pillow Book”
Fondly, Kathleen
kero: workshop teachers made my life miserable, too. bland is the word; i’ve always thought it was like hemmingway without the wit or depth or anything worth reading.
glitzy: i haven’t seen short cuts, but carver-mahn was quite the star for some years of lost-in-the-woods literary wandering, so i can see why altman wanted to make a movie.
kathleen: by all means, read “the pillow book.” but under no circumstances see the movie. or, just hit the mute button every time vivian wu opens her mouth.
kero: workshop teachers made my life miserable, too. bland is the word; i’ve always thought it was like hemmingway without the wit or depth or anything worth reading.
glitzy: i haven’t seen short cuts, but carver-mahn was quite the star for some years of lost-in-the-woods literary wandering, so i can see why altman wanted to make a movie.
kathleen: by all means, read “the pillow book.” but under no circumstances see the movie. or, just hit the mute button every time vivian wu opens her mouth.
kero: workshop teachers made my life miserable, too. bland is the word; i’ve always thought it was like hemmingway without the wit or depth or anything worth reading.
glitzy: i haven’t seen short cuts, but carver-mahn was quite the star for some years of lost-in-the-woods literary wandering, so i can see why altman wanted to make a movie.
kathleen: by all means, read “the pillow book.” but under no circumstances see the movie. or, just hit the mute button every time vivian wu opens her mouth.
Pynchon a god? Sorry, I just could not make it through _Gravity’s Rainbow_, and I tried really hard. I did read _The Crying of Lot 49_, which I enjoyed. Haven’t read Carver in years, but I remember finding him depressing. “Where I’m Calling From”–isn’t that the title of one of his stories, or a collection?
I’ll go out on a limb here and proclaim that “The Short Happy Life of Frances Macomber” was better than “The Snows of Kilamanjaro,” which is in every anthology everywhere.
amy: gravity’s rainbow is dense, dense, dense — “ulysses” mixed with v-2 rockets. i haven’t finished it, either. “short happy life” is an awesome story, despite its misogyny. for me, though, “the killers” is the best. (and a great movie, too).
Pynchon a god? Sorry, I just could not make it through _Gravity’s Rainbow_, and I tried really hard. I did read _The Crying of Lot 49_, which I enjoyed. Haven’t read Carver in years, but I remember finding him depressing. “Where I’m Calling From”–isn’t that the title of one of his stories, or a collection?
I’ll go out on a limb here and proclaim that “The Short Happy Life of Frances Macomber” was better than “The Snows of Kilamanjaro,” which is in every anthology everywhere.
Pynchon a god? Sorry, I just could not make it through _Gravity’s Rainbow_, and I tried really hard. I did read _The Crying of Lot 49_, which I enjoyed. Haven’t read Carver in years, but I remember finding him depressing. “Where I’m Calling From”–isn’t that the title of one of his stories, or a collection?
I’ll go out on a limb here and proclaim that “The Short Happy Life of Frances Macomber” was better than “The Snows of Kilamanjaro,” which is in every anthology everywhere.
amy: gravity’s rainbow is dense, dense, dense — “ulysses” mixed with v-2 rockets. i haven’t finished it, either. “short happy life” is an awesome story, despite its misogyny. for me, though, “the killers” is the best. (and a great movie, too).
amy: gravity’s rainbow is dense, dense, dense — “ulysses” mixed with v-2 rockets. i haven’t finished it, either. “short happy life” is an awesome story, despite its misogyny. for me, though, “the killers” is the best. (and a great movie, too).
I actually loved Altman’s “Short Cuts” film more than the actual Carver stories. I think “Short Cuts” is a masterpiece…one of my favorite films. I’m also a Peter Greenaway fan…but “The Pillow Book” was not that great. “Drowning by Numbers” and “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover,” now those are brilliant.
Ugh to Purple Rain also, unless it’s in a painting. See my other site by clicking here. (there’s writing, too, but not much bitchin’ …yet)
Thx for the midnight laughs and I did succumb to answering your question on my “green” blog.
I’m all for bitchin! I hate prince, poor mans michael jackson if you ask me. I say ditch the books, grab the wife catch a plane and head on down under!
I actually loved Altman’s “Short Cuts” film more than the actual Carver stories. I think “Short Cuts” is a masterpiece…one of my favorite films. I’m also a Peter Greenaway fan…but “The Pillow Book” was not that great. “Drowning by Numbers” and “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover,” now those are brilliant.
I actually loved Altman’s “Short Cuts” film more than the actual Carver stories. I think “Short Cuts” is a masterpiece…one of my favorite films. I’m also a Peter Greenaway fan…but “The Pillow Book” was not that great. “Drowning by Numbers” and “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover,” now those are brilliant.
Ugh to Purple Rain also, unless it’s in a painting. See my other site by clicking here. (there’s writing, too, but not much bitchin’ …yet)
Thx for the midnight laughs and I did succumb to answering your question on my “green” blog.
Ugh to Purple Rain also, unless it’s in a painting. See my other site by clicking here. (there’s writing, too, but not much bitchin’ …yet)
Thx for the midnight laughs and I did succumb to answering your question on my “green” blog.
I’m all for bitchin! I hate prince, poor mans michael jackson if you ask me. I say ditch the books, grab the wife catch a plane and head on down under!
I’m all for bitchin! I hate prince, poor mans michael jackson if you ask me. I say ditch the books, grab the wife catch a plane and head on down under!
collin: ya know, i really dug “the cook, the thief…” but da “pillow book” just grated. didn’t see “drowning” but “prospero’s brooks” wasn’t bad…
GEL: you have me thoroughly confused, which is actually pretty simple to do.
michelle: just load up the eskys and i’m there.
More often than not, heads are going to roll in my writing. For me, going off on feisty tirades is better than sex. Almost. I say “bitch it up” baby.
collin: ya know, i really dug “the cook, the thief…” but da “pillow book” just grated. didn’t see “drowning” but “prospero’s brooks” wasn’t bad…
GEL: you have me thoroughly confused, which is actually pretty simple to do.
michelle: just load up the eskys and i’m there.
collin: ya know, i really dug “the cook, the thief…” but da “pillow book” just grated. didn’t see “drowning” but “prospero’s brooks” wasn’t bad…
GEL: you have me thoroughly confused, which is actually pretty simple to do.
michelle: just load up the eskys and i’m there.
More often than not, heads are going to roll in my writing. For me, going off on feisty tirades is better than sex. Almost. I say “bitch it up” baby.
More often than not, heads are going to roll in my writing. For me, going off on feisty tirades is better than sex. Almost. I say “bitch it up” baby.
Bitching, ranting, as forgetting to takes one’s antidepressants are the cornerstones of the creative process. Nobody ever learned a freakin thing when they were perfectly happy.
Bitching, ranting, as forgetting to takes one’s antidepressants are the cornerstones of the creative process. Nobody ever learned a freakin thing when they were perfectly happy.
Bitching, ranting, as forgetting to takes one’s antidepressants are the cornerstones of the creative process. Nobody ever learned a freakin thing when they were perfectly happy.
bees: bitch it up indeed! feisty tirades are what made america the land that it is today.
mikevil: couldn’t have said it better myself, goddamnit.
bees: bitch it up indeed! feisty tirades are what made america the land that it is today.
mikevil: couldn’t have said it better myself, goddamnit.
bees: bitch it up indeed! feisty tirades are what made america the land that it is today.
mikevil: couldn’t have said it better myself, goddamnit.
Sweet! Cheers for bitching! This post rocks my crabby socks!
Lois Lane
Sweet! Cheers for bitching! This post rocks my crabby socks!
Lois Lane
Sweet! Cheers for bitching! This post rocks my crabby socks!
Lois Lane
Bookfraud, I shouuld try to email you, but I’m multi-tasking so here goes:
I have two blog sites with different content, both with writing. One is the line here at the bottom of my post if you click directly on it. That blog is called Silken Threads and is my “newer blog.” There, you will find poetry and prose. (My pen name is SilverMoon there.)
The other blog where you have visited is entitled “Good Vibrations.” That is the one where I screwed up the html. Our oldest daughter goes to college soon, plus art commissions for me to complete so fixing that blog is low priority. (That is Where I’m “Green-Eyed Lady” or “GEL.”
Since most know me as “GEL” from blogrolls and having the GV site many more months, I began signing my posts “SilverMoon(GEL) in the last month or so.
Highlighting does show the posts on the GV site, but there’s more to fix than that. I’m in the process of embedding (c) on my photos and paintings there, while also redesigning my professional website for my art businesses. (I need more than a maid…)
Hope that clears things up. If you want to read more of my writing, visit the link here. There’s several categories there to choose from like “humor”, “poetry”, and others that unravel a bit of mystery about me or read old archives on GV or just read from my blogroll by choosing others sites. Of course being alone adjusting yorrself, inspecting toe lint, etc LOO means you may have better things to do than read blogs! I hope your hunger for your wife’s company sparks writer creativity!
Bookfraud, I shouuld try to email you, but I’m multi-tasking so here goes:
I have two blog sites with different content, both with writing. One is the line here at the bottom of my post if you click directly on it. That blog is called Silken Threads and is my “newer blog.” There, you will find poetry and prose. (My pen name is SilverMoon there.)
The other blog where you have visited is entitled “Good Vibrations.” That is the one where I screwed up the html. Our oldest daughter goes to college soon, plus art commissions for me to complete so fixing that blog is low priority. (That is Where I’m “Green-Eyed Lady” or “GEL.”
Since most know me as “GEL” from blogrolls and having the GV site many more months, I began signing my posts “SilverMoon(GEL) in the last month or so.
Highlighting does show the posts on the GV site, but there’s more to fix than that. I’m in the process of embedding (c) on my photos and paintings there, while also redesigning my professional website for my art businesses. (I need more than a maid…)
Hope that clears things up. If you want to read more of my writing, visit the link here. There’s several categories there to choose from like “humor”, “poetry”, and others that unravel a bit of mystery about me or read old archives on GV or just read from my blogroll by choosing others sites. Of course being alone adjusting yorrself, inspecting toe lint, etc LOO means you may have better things to do than read blogs! I hope your hunger for your wife’s company sparks writer creativity!
Bookfraud, I shouuld try to email you, but I’m multi-tasking so here goes:
I have two blog sites with different content, both with writing. One is the line here at the bottom of my post if you click directly on it. That blog is called Silken Threads and is my “newer blog.” There, you will find poetry and prose. (My pen name is SilverMoon there.)
The other blog where you have visited is entitled “Good Vibrations.” That is the one where I screwed up the html. Our oldest daughter goes to college soon, plus art commissions for me to complete so fixing that blog is low priority. (That is Where I’m “Green-Eyed Lady” or “GEL.”
Since most know me as “GEL” from blogrolls and having the GV site many more months, I began signing my posts “SilverMoon(GEL) in the last month or so.
Highlighting does show the posts on the GV site, but there’s more to fix than that. I’m in the process of embedding (c) on my photos and paintings there, while also redesigning my professional website for my art businesses. (I need more than a maid…)
Hope that clears things up. If you want to read more of my writing, visit the link here. There’s several categories there to choose from like “humor”, “poetry”, and others that unravel a bit of mystery about me or read old archives on GV or just read from my blogroll by choosing others sites. Of course being alone adjusting yorrself, inspecting toe lint, etc LOO means you may have better things to do than read blogs! I hope your hunger for your wife’s company sparks writer creativity!