It’s been two months since I posted to this blog. I actually have a reason,a good one —good,at least,in most writers’eyes.
By nature,I’m depressive,and if not for that fact,I might have written something by now,something pertaining to the larger world of death and loss,of grief and the bottomless anguish one feels with the loss of a loved one. A couple of months ago,my father became ill,and he passed away three weeks later. The details aren’t important,nor are appeals for readers’sympathy.
And if I weren’t such a cynic,perhaps I would have written a tribute to my father or perhaps not posted this without a pretentious title. You know,How Dad Inspired Me to Become a Writer,or something to that effect,true or not. How I am the person I am today because of him (well,duh).
But I do get depressed more often than your average lad,and I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful snot,but I’m not going to write about Dad,except to say I was fortunate to have seen him before he died. Wife and I did an inordinate amount of travel over the course of a month,shed many tears,and were gratified at the number of family and friends who came to comfort my mother and the rest of us.
The fact is —and it is not a small thing —that Dad dying pretty knocked the wind out of me,and writing has assumed its rightful importantce in the universe,which is to say,it is of little importantce. I cannot say that writing makes me even feel better,much less if it makes me a better person.
Not quite
There are writers who work through their mourning,pounding the keyboard as a means of catharsis. There is the school of thought that posits you should keep writing in your most painful moments. That the feeling of anguish has its own shape on the page,and one can truly give it voice only when one is experiencing it.
Personally,I would have punched someone in the face had they suggested that I needed to sit down after my father’s funeral and get my feelings on paper. For those whose singular goal in life is their art,this is a desired (if not admirable) thing.
One of the biggest shortcomings of my fiction is that it can be all brain,little heart. While I’ve recognized this and have improved my writing as such,I’ll always go for wit over emotion (Dylan over Springsteen,Borges over Neruda,etc.)
That’s the real reason I’ve been kind of a chickenshit of late —I have nothing clever to say,spill my “true feelings”and reveal something that I care not to share. Which is what they tell you to do in writing class.
Over and out.
First off …my condolences. I’ve not had someone that close to me pass yet and I know I won’t handle it well at all when it happens since I can’t handle acquaintances dying with any strength,grace or dignity. The mere fact that you’re able to post on your blog is amazing to me.
Ahhh Borges. Time to go re-read Labyrinths.
Glad to see you writing. Once life settles a bit,go ahead and shred the world with wit. I’ll be here when you do.
When my brother died,I wasn’t capable of stringing two sentences together,much less constructing an actual ‘piece’about everything I was going through. Not then.
But three years later I did. And I’m glad I did.
Some day you’ll be ready to. Not saying you have to,or even that you you should. But someday you’ll be able to.
First off …my condolences. I’ve not had someone that close to me pass yet and I know I won’t handle it well at all when it happens since I can’t handle acquaintances dying with any strength,grace or dignity. The mere fact that you’re able to post on your blog is amazing to me.
Ahhh Borges. Time to go re-read Labyrinths.
First off …my condolences. I’ve not had someone that close to me pass yet and I know I won’t handle it well at all when it happens since I can’t handle acquaintances dying with any strength,grace or dignity. The mere fact that you’re able to post on your blog is amazing to me.
Ahhh Borges. Time to go re-read Labyrinths.
Glad to see you writing. Once life settles a bit,go ahead and shred the world with wit. I’ll be here when you do.
Glad to see you writing. Once life settles a bit,go ahead and shred the world with wit. I’ll be here when you do.
When my brother died,I wasn’t capable of stringing two sentences together,much less constructing an actual ‘piece’about everything I was going through. Not then.
But three years later I did. And I’m glad I did.
Some day you’ll be ready to. Not saying you have to,or even that you you should. But someday you’ll be able to.
When my brother died,I wasn’t capable of stringing two sentences together,much less constructing an actual ‘piece’about everything I was going through. Not then.
But three years later I did. And I’m glad I did.
Some day you’ll be ready to. Not saying you have to,or even that you you should. But someday you’ll be able to.
Glad to have you back BF,you’ve been missed round here
Condolences on your dad’s passing.
Glitzy:thanks for the kind words. it’s been about six weeks now,and for the first month,i couldn’t write a thing. it’s theraputic,in a way,but my heart isn’t it all the time.
steve/coffeerocket:you’re a good guy,despite your blog. i mean because of it. or something.
sarcastrix:the thought of losing a sibling is beyond comprehension. i would have taken me years to recover,too.
Michelle:thanks for the condolences. i’m back for now,maybe i’ll really be back soon.
Damn this HaloScan to Hell. I left a comment here this afternoon but now its gone…unless of course you deleted it…at any rate it’s good to see you around again…
Glad to have you back BF,you’ve been missed round here
Condolences on your dad’s passing.
Glad to have you back BF,you’ve been missed round here
Condolences on your dad’s passing.
Glitzy:thanks for the kind words. it’s been about six weeks now,and for the first month,i couldn’t write a thing. it’s theraputic,in a way,but my heart isn’t it all the time.
steve/coffeerocket:you’re a good guy,despite your blog. i mean because of it. or something.
Glitzy:thanks for the kind words. it’s been about six weeks now,and for the first month,i couldn’t write a thing. it’s theraputic,in a way,but my heart isn’t it all the time.
steve/coffeerocket:you’re a good guy,despite your blog. i mean because of it. or something.
sarcastrix:the thought of losing a sibling is beyond comprehension. i would have taken me years to recover,too.
Michelle:thanks for the condolences. i’m back for now,maybe i’ll really be back soon.
sarcastrix:the thought of losing a sibling is beyond comprehension. i would have taken me years to recover,too.
Michelle:thanks for the condolences. i’m back for now,maybe i’ll really be back soon.
I know its tough…but..you have to come out from this trauma….
take care….
Damn this HaloScan to Hell. I left a comment here this afternoon but now its gone…unless of course you deleted it…at any rate it’s good to see you around again…
Damn this HaloScan to Hell. I left a comment here this afternoon but now its gone…unless of course you deleted it…at any rate it’s good to see you around again…
I know its tough…but..you have to come out from this trauma….
take care….
I know its tough…but..you have to come out from this trauma….
take care….
When your feelings are ready they will spill on their own. I am so sorry your dad lost his fight.
I’ve been in that same boat and know just how you feel about the loss of your dad,the words not coming,wanting to tribute the man and the words still not being there. When you are ready is when it is time. You really can’t rush healing from a terrible loss.
You and your family are in my thoughts,good vibes are being sent for your strength.
You have been missed in Blogville but some things are just more important.
Lois Lane
I’ll make this short and sweet:Welcome back.
When your feelings are ready they will spill on their own. I am so sorry your dad lost his fight.
I’ve been in that same boat and know just how you feel about the loss of your dad,the words not coming,wanting to tribute the man and the words still not being there. When you are ready is when it is time. You really can’t rush healing from a terrible loss.
You and your family are in my thoughts,good vibes are being sent for your strength.
You have been missed in Blogville but some things are just more important.
Lois Lane
When your feelings are ready they will spill on their own. I am so sorry your dad lost his fight.
I’ve been in that same boat and know just how you feel about the loss of your dad,the words not coming,wanting to tribute the man and the words still not being there. When you are ready is when it is time. You really can’t rush healing from a terrible loss.
You and your family are in my thoughts,good vibes are being sent for your strength.
You have been missed in Blogville but some things are just more important.
Lois Lane
I’ll make this short and sweet:Welcome back.
I’ll make this short and sweet:Welcome back.
Welcome back hun…
Welcome back hun…
Welcome back hun…
dude.
i am so glad to see you back.
so glad.
dude.
i am so glad to see you back.
so glad.
dude.
i am so glad to see you back.
so glad.
There really aren’t any universal words for a loss so deep which is why “Condolences”to you doesn’t seem enough. Silence on your blog and/or real life is your choice,plus a way of mourning.
I wish this wasn’t the reason you’ve been gone. Each person’s life is different. My father died over a year ago. One of the reasons I began blogging was an indirect way of healing,but I never said that until now…and didn’t even mention his death until recently. Boy,do I understand privacy. Take care
There really aren’t any universal words for a loss so deep which is why “Condolences”to you doesn’t seem enough. Silence on your blog and/or real life is your choice,plus a way of mourning.
I wish this wasn’t the reason you’ve been gone. Each person’s life is different. My father died over a year ago. One of the reasons I began blogging was an indirect way of healing,but I never said that until now…and didn’t even mention his death until recently. Boy,do I understand privacy. Take care
There really aren’t any universal words for a loss so deep which is why “Condolences”to you doesn’t seem enough. Silence on your blog and/or real life is your choice,plus a way of mourning.
I wish this wasn’t the reason you’ve been gone. Each person’s life is different. My father died over a year ago. One of the reasons I began blogging was an indirect way of healing,but I never said that until now…and didn’t even mention his death until recently. Boy,do I understand privacy. Take care