Wife and I have had a guest the past week,which provides a great excuse for not writing,be it fiction,blog,e-mail,or in the journal. That’s why I haven’t posted anything here or surfed the Web fantastic to steal ideas from other blogs.
That the guest happens to be my mother-in-law is even a better excuse. No,I get along great with my in-laws,who are wonderful folk,but that our guest is family means that I’m supposed to be spending every free moment with her,even though,in this case,the guest happens to be parked in the kitchen,cooking non-stop (I’ll explain another time).
Procrastination is the scribbler’s eternal enemy. A writer was once asked for a magazine story what was his favorite means of procrastination. “Stupid magazine interviews like this one,” he said.
There aren’t any magazines asking for my opinions on procrastination,in-laws,or anything else of note. Still,I really should be writing more. It gnaws at my soul. I’ve been conditioned,you see. That’s because,as a writer of fiction,you are told repeatedly the reason for your existence. That ethos one can be summed up in one sentence:If you don’t write every day,you’ll die.
The corollary to that rule is if you don’t feel that way,you’re not a real writer. Writers live to write,and that is all that should matter.
Couldn’t agree more
This worldview took a serious hit a few years ago. I was at a writers’conference,and this blowhard teacher told the class that every single day he locks himself in his room for three hours to write. “I am not to be disturbed under any circumstance,”he said,rather breathlessly. Why? Because he is a Serious Artist writing Serious Fiction to be Read Seriously. What about an emergency? Could he be bothered with the news that Junior got hit by a truck? No,he said. Don’t interrupt me,ever. I am writing Literature.
Nothing was going to stop this guy:not visiting in-laws,not family emergencies,not a tsunami wrecking his home. He will work undisturbed for three hours. Because. He. Is. A. Writer.
But I knew he’d stop writing when his dick fell off from gangrene,which happens when you beat off three hours a day.
I lack such discipline (for writing,that is). TV works its magic with an evil subtlety. Why write when there’s a Law &Order marathon on! Even though I’ve already seen each goddamn episode twice? Hey,is that MXC? South Park? WWE? And what about the VH1 “I Love the 70s80s90s” back-to-back-to –back-to-eternity-and-nihilism? The warmth of the blue glow beckons me like the sirens.
Then there’s the Web. Write that story that’s been nagging at me for 13 years? Hell no —surf’s up! I’ll check out the Web for news,Cubs lowlights,N.Y. real prices,porn,you name it. Haven’t heard that Pat O’Brien phonesex voicemail. Gotta hear it. Haven’t seen the “Dancing Baby”video in quite some time. Why the hell not? Just as long as I don’t have to write.
And then there’s completely pointless computer work,the stupidest reason to procrastinate. This is what guys (like myself) who don’t own a car do instead of work on the car. I’ll install a few new programs,make sure that the RAM is OK and test out some new equipment,like a remote scanner on a network that I’ll never use. Hey,how about working on that iMovie of our vacation just a little more,even though nobody wants to see it?
Eventually,though,I go back to the pen. I go back to banging my head against the wall,pressing out line after line of stunted prose that sometimes add up into a story. I’ll write and rewrite and rewrite until I’ve just about lost all hope in humanity. Then I’ll send it to a lit mag,which will reject it. And then I start all over again.
But don’t feel sorry for me,really. It’s the life I’ve chosen,and it’s not all bad. I may not be a Serious Writer with Serious Ambition,but I have managed to craft a few choice paragraphs here and there. It’s enough to be proud of,put on the tombstone.
In fact,Wife and her mother are in the living room right now,sitting on the couch,watching Judging Amy. Move over.
To true. Good stuff. I’m glad I never procrastinate. Excuse me while I go look up how to cure my slice on the Internet…
If I ever buckled down to follow the writing dream,I’d probably be more like you than Serious Writer.
Hope you’re having fun with the MiL.
I have to be inspired to write. If I tried to do a three hour stint,my mind would be clogged with all sorts of other things and I would simply write silly shit,see today’s post as proof.
Lois Lane
P.S. Would you like to join my new group? Our motto is,“Procrastinators,unite tomorrow!”
“If you don?t write every day,you?ll die”
Well if that’s the case then,“one has to be close to death in order to appreciate life.”
Maybe procrastinators tend appreciate life more because they see there is more to life than just the task at hand. Plus sometimes getting things done at the last min cause be as exhilarating as a morning quickie.
kero:you golf? i never knew you had it in you.
glitzy:solidarity! i try to be serious writer,but it always comes out wrong.
lois:three hours of serious writer’s time writing serious writing is seriously writing,not silly shit. you never post silly shit.
goddess:you just hit the nail on the head. and i am wonderful on deadline,though i like the morning quickie. and the ones at night too.
To true. Good stuff. I’m glad I never procrastinate. Excuse me while I go look up how to cure my slice on the Internet…
To true. Good stuff. I’m glad I never procrastinate. Excuse me while I go look up how to cure my slice on the Internet…
If I ever buckled down to follow the writing dream,I’d probably be more like you than Serious Writer.
Hope you’re having fun with the MiL.
If I ever buckled down to follow the writing dream,I’d probably be more like you than Serious Writer.
Hope you’re having fun with the MiL.
I have to be inspired to write. If I tried to do a three hour stint,my mind would be clogged with all sorts of other things and I would simply write silly shit,see today’s post as proof.
Lois Lane
P.S. Would you like to join my new group? Our motto is,“Procrastinators,unite tomorrow!”
I have to be inspired to write. If I tried to do a three hour stint,my mind would be clogged with all sorts of other things and I would simply write silly shit,see today’s post as proof.
Lois Lane
P.S. Would you like to join my new group? Our motto is,“Procrastinators,unite tomorrow!”
I consider myself to be a fairly serious writer,but I don’t write fiction or poetry every day of the week. I’m an editor for a newspaper,so I do write every day. That whole thing of locking yourself in a room for three hours or getting up at the crack of dawn may work for some,but I say baloney. I enjoy writing,reading,watching tv,going to a movie…actually doing a bit of living before I sit down to write. As a matter of fact…it’s almost time for American Idol.
“If you don?t write every day,you?ll die”
Well if that’s the case then,“one has to be close to death in order to appreciate life.”
Maybe procrastinators tend appreciate life more because they see there is more to life than just the task at hand. Plus sometimes getting things done at the last min cause be as exhilarating as a morning quickie.
“If you don?t write every day,you?ll die”
Well if that’s the case then,“one has to be close to death in order to appreciate life.”
Maybe procrastinators tend appreciate life more because they see there is more to life than just the task at hand. Plus sometimes getting things done at the last min cause be as exhilarating as a morning quickie.
kero:you golf? i never knew you had it in you.
glitzy:solidarity! i try to be serious writer,but it always comes out wrong.
kero:you golf? i never knew you had it in you.
glitzy:solidarity! i try to be serious writer,but it always comes out wrong.
lois:three hours of serious writer’s time writing serious writing is seriously writing,not silly shit. you never post silly shit.
goddess:you just hit the nail on the head. and i am wonderful on deadline,though i like the morning quickie. and the ones at night too.
lois:three hours of serious writer’s time writing serious writing is seriously writing,not silly shit. you never post silly shit.
goddess:you just hit the nail on the head. and i am wonderful on deadline,though i like the morning quickie. and the ones at night too.
I consider myself to be a fairly serious writer,but I don’t write fiction or poetry every day of the week. I’m an editor for a newspaper,so I do write every day. That whole thing of locking yourself in a room for three hours or getting up at the crack of dawn may work for some,but I say baloney. I enjoy writing,reading,watching tv,going to a movie…actually doing a bit of living before I sit down to write. As a matter of fact…it’s almost time for American Idol.
I consider myself to be a fairly serious writer,but I don’t write fiction or poetry every day of the week. I’m an editor for a newspaper,so I do write every day. That whole thing of locking yourself in a room for three hours or getting up at the crack of dawn may work for some,but I say baloney. I enjoy writing,reading,watching tv,going to a movie…actually doing a bit of living before I sit down to write. As a matter of fact…it’s almost time for American Idol.
I can so relate to your post bf! I am one of these that waits till my University deadline looms then write non stop till i get the paper finished. I just can’t get motivated. I do all the research then it sits on my desk forever till the paper is near due. I love tv!
I can so relate to your post bf! I am one of these that waits till my University deadline looms then write non stop till i get the paper finished. I just can’t get motivated. I do all the research then it sits on my desk forever till the paper is near due. I love tv!
I can so relate to your post bf! I am one of these that waits till my University deadline looms then write non stop till i get the paper finished. I just can’t get motivated. I do all the research then it sits on my desk forever till the paper is near due. I love tv!
I procrastinate my serious,‘real’writing by writing endless amounts of sarcastic drivel and neurotica.
I am not a serious writer by any means,but I do try to write daily. Well,weekdays that is. While I’m supposed to be working.
So I do get paid to write,in a manner of speaking.
I used to write whenever the mood struck me. Now I feel guilty if I don’t regurgitate daily.
I procrastinate my serious,‘real’writing by writing endless amounts of sarcastic drivel and neurotica.
I procrastinate my serious,‘real’writing by writing endless amounts of sarcastic drivel and neurotica.
fraud,your nyets prepared me for the nyet i got today.
over haikus,no less.
oh,the pain one feels when one’s pain is rejected.
I am not a serious writer by any means,but I do try to write daily. Well,weekdays that is. While I’m supposed to be working.
So I do get paid to write,in a manner of speaking.
I used to write whenever the mood struck me. Now I feel guilty if I don’t regurgitate daily.
I am not a serious writer by any means,but I do try to write daily. Well,weekdays that is. While I’m supposed to be working.
So I do get paid to write,in a manner of speaking.
I used to write whenever the mood struck me. Now I feel guilty if I don’t regurgitate daily.
Don’t serious writers have to lead pathetic lives and then die tragic deaths in order to be truly great?
Keep those rejection letters coming!
collin:scott sucks. why hasn’t he been voted off yet?
michelle:just as our friend henry rollins says,what are we going to talk about? we don’t want to know! we’re dedicated to our favorite shows!
sic:that’s why we love you. good to hear from you.
ty:did “haiku hut”reject your works of art? let me at ‘em.
amy:not always,you know that. the way to avoid rejection letters is never write anything.
fraud,your nyets prepared me for the nyet i got today.
over haikus,no less.
oh,the pain one feels when one’s pain is rejected.
fraud,your nyets prepared me for the nyet i got today.
over haikus,no less.
oh,the pain one feels when one’s pain is rejected.
Oh my god that is so true about the television I had to cancel my cable because I would always distract myself with hours of mindless nonesense instead of meditating or studying,or writing like I should be…However,I just couldn’t bring myself to cancel my internet…so the distractions live on,and on,and on…Case and point –RIGHT NOW!
Don’t serious writers have to lead pathetic lives and then die tragic deaths in order to be truly great?
Keep those rejection letters coming!
Don’t serious writers have to lead pathetic lives and then die tragic deaths in order to be truly great?
Keep those rejection letters coming!
collin:scott sucks. why hasn’t he been voted off yet?
michelle:just as our friend henry rollins says,what are we going to talk about? we don’t want to know! we’re dedicated to our favorite shows!
sic:that’s why we love you. good to hear from you.
collin:scott sucks. why hasn’t he been voted off yet?
michelle:just as our friend henry rollins says,what are we going to talk about? we don’t want to know! we’re dedicated to our favorite shows!
sic:that’s why we love you. good to hear from you.
ty:did “haiku hut”reject your works of art? let me at ‘em.
amy:not always,you know that. the way to avoid rejection letters is never write anything.
ty:did “haiku hut”reject your works of art? let me at ‘em.
amy:not always,you know that. the way to avoid rejection letters is never write anything.
Oh my god that is so true about the television I had to cancel my cable because I would always distract myself with hours of mindless nonesense instead of meditating or studying,or writing like I should be…However,I just couldn’t bring myself to cancel my internet…so the distractions live on,and on,and on…Case and point –RIGHT NOW!
Oh my god that is so true about the television I had to cancel my cable because I would always distract myself with hours of mindless nonesense instead of meditating or studying,or writing like I should be…However,I just couldn’t bring myself to cancel my internet…so the distractions live on,and on,and on…Case and point –RIGHT NOW!
my biggest distraction to writing every day has been working as a writer/editor for a group of magazines.
i do write every day,or just about every day,but I haven’t worked on my fiction in well over a year. I try not to stress about that too much,though. It’s frustrating some times,but I’m too busy stressing about making these deadlines.
My take on the whole thing:Serious disciplined writers bore me. The new,next generation of writers write when they want to. I don?t force myself to write. And you shouldn?t either. I play by these rules:No rules. Sometimes I write drunk. Sometimes I write nothing. But I always write when I want to,not when I have to. Don?t be so hard on yourself BF. You?re the bomb.
my biggest distraction to writing every day has been working as a writer/editor for a group of magazines.
i do write every day,or just about every day,but I haven’t worked on my fiction in well over a year. I try not to stress about that too much,though. It’s frustrating some times,but I’m too busy stressing about making these deadlines.
my biggest distraction to writing every day has been working as a writer/editor for a group of magazines.
i do write every day,or just about every day,but I haven’t worked on my fiction in well over a year. I try not to stress about that too much,though. It’s frustrating some times,but I’m too busy stressing about making these deadlines.
My take on the whole thing:Serious disciplined writers bore me. The new,next generation of writers write when they want to. I don?t force myself to write. And you shouldn?t either. I play by these rules:No rules. Sometimes I write drunk. Sometimes I write nothing. But I always write when I want to,not when I have to. Don?t be so hard on yourself BF. You?re the bomb.