As I await word from publishers on my novel, and having really nothing better to do, I thought it might be instructive to share a taste of publisher’s rejection letters.
Why am I doing this, you ask? For sympathy? To blow the lid off a corrupt publishing world?
No, because the past week I have either been crazy with work, or have had the energy level of a wet dogturd, and thought it best to produce an E-Z post. Plus, since staring at the screen for more than 21 seconds at a time creates this vertiginous sensation like there are small oozing pustules on my body, making me feel as if I will expel ink-black vomitus, I’ll keep it relatively short, brain free, and lacking the usual light-hearted, good-natured tone of the terminally optimistic.
Reject me at will.
WHAT THEY SAY: “This was entertaining and unique. But I didn’t think that the story came together in the end.”
WHAT THEY MEAN: I loved it! But it’s gonna sell 100 copies.
WHAT THEY SAY: “The novel starts strong with a great premise, but ultimately fails to capture my interest.”
WHAT THEY MEAN: It sucked.
WHAT THEY SAY: “Thank you for sending this. It was one of the most interersting novels to pass my desk in some time. However, it’s just not right for me.”
WHAT THEY MEAN: It totally sucked.
Somebody’s mad as hell. But not Bookfraud
WHAT THEY SAY: “The novel gets lost near the end, and I had a hard time following the various plot contrivances and twists.”
WHAT THEY MEAN: I didn’t have time to finish it.
WHAT THEY SAY: “The writing is fresh, and the characters are facinating. This book really got my attention. Ultimately, however, I’ll have to pass.”
WHAT THEY MEAN: If I saw you in a bar, I’d think you were hot, but I’d never sleep with you.
Thank you, thank you.
What is kinda strange is that the rejection letters don’t bother me. That is, they didn’t bother me until six weeks had passed after receiving each one, a time when I stewed in a blood rage about the publishing corpocracy conspiring against me. Somebody whose writing I respect immensely had his novel rejected a bazillion times before it got accepted — and this after he published a collection of short stories. I really have nothing to bitch about. (Which really means I have no reason to live).
More importantly, I finally have realized that rejection isn’t simply a function of the book’s quality, but also of its commercial potential. And I just have to live with that. Publishing is a business, lest I forget.
The interesting thing about rejection letters on books is that they are formal and generally nice to the agent — after all, editors rely upon agents to send them good material. Also, I have noticed a subtle pattern among the rejections: the beginning rocks, but the ending isn’t as swell. Maybe I can learn from this. Perhaps I will emerge with a better novel, as a better person, in a better world, with better food and ketchup packets that are as easy to open as it was for me to write this, goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow. Don’t wake me.
I have a few of my father’s rejection letters. He held onto them, not sure why. Are these letters to agents of publishers? Do you have an agent? By the way… this site rocks:
http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/
I have a few of my father’s rejection letters. He held onto them, not sure why. Are these letters to agents of publishers? Do you have an agent? By the way… this site rocks:
http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/
Good – I love a good epistolary scrap.
Good – I love a good epistolary scrap.
Keep sending it all over until someone gives you the right answer. You’ll get ‘er done!
Lois Lane
Wow! You’ve submitted a novel? Let us know how it goes.
Keep sending it all over until someone gives you the right answer. You’ll get ‘er done!
Lois Lane
Keep sending it all over until someone gives you the right answer. You’ll get ‘er done!
Lois Lane
Wow! You’ve submitted a novel? Let us know how it goes.
Wow! You’ve submitted a novel? Let us know how it goes.
bees: eds and preds is a great site. much thanks for the heads-up. i’m so thankful that i’m going to do something unprecidented in bookfraud’s short life:
goth: i published my response, and john seems to have gone berzerk. i’m letting the whole thing drop. waste of oxygen. sometimes you just have to say, fuck it.
lois lane: that’s the right attitude! unfortuanately, my agent is doing the sending, and i’m doing the waiting.
bugs: i’ve “submitted” in the loosest sense of the word.
bees: eds and preds is a great site. much thanks for the heads-up. i’m so thankful that i’m going to do something unprecidented in bookfraud’s short life:
bees: eds and preds is a great site. much thanks for the heads-up. i’m so thankful that i’m going to do something unprecidented in bookfraud’s short life:
goth: i published my response, and john seems to have gone berzerk. i’m letting the whole thing drop. waste of oxygen. sometimes you just have to say, fuck it.
goth: i published my response, and john seems to have gone berzerk. i’m letting the whole thing drop. waste of oxygen. sometimes you just have to say, fuck it.
lois lane: that’s the right attitude! unfortuanately, my agent is doing the sending, and i’m doing the waiting.
bugs: i’ve “submitted” in the loosest sense of the word.
lois lane: that’s the right attitude! unfortuanately, my agent is doing the sending, and i’m doing the waiting.
bugs: i’ve “submitted” in the loosest sense of the word.
that is so fucking awesome, fraud. great idea for a post. i often have problems with the endings of my stuff.
and the start and the middle, too.
Love this post! I had my novel placed with one of the biggest agencies in New York and the rejections she got ran along those lines. It’s just like that scene in “Sideways,” where the agent says “they loved it, they just don’t know how to market it.” I’ve heard that so many times, I’m going to have t-shirts made up.
that is so fucking awesome, fraud. great idea for a post. i often have problems with the endings of my stuff.
and the start and the middle, too.
that is so fucking awesome, fraud. great idea for a post. i often have problems with the endings of my stuff.
and the start and the middle, too.
Love this post! I had my novel placed with one of the biggest agencies in New York and the rejections she got ran along those lines. It’s just like that scene in “Sideways,” where the agent says “they loved it, they just don’t know how to market it.” I’ve heard that so many times, I’m going to have t-shirts made up.
Love this post! I had my novel placed with one of the biggest agencies in New York and the rejections she got ran along those lines. It’s just like that scene in “Sideways,” where the agent says “they loved it, they just don’t know how to market it.” I’ve heard that so many times, I’m going to have t-shirts made up.
Love the translations!
Hi bookfraud,
It was my sleep-eyed error b/c I had thought you had published. I am new here, but I’ve read your comments on other favorite blogs for quite a while. Previous publication does not mean you don’t have what it takes. I enjoy your thoughts and writing, immensely.
Love the translations!
Love the translations!
Hi bookfraud,
It was my sleep-eyed error b/c I had thought you had published. I am new here, but I’ve read your comments on other favorite blogs for quite a while. Previous publication does not mean you don’t have what it takes. I enjoy your thoughts and writing, immensely.
Hi bookfraud,
It was my sleep-eyed error b/c I had thought you had published. I am new here, but I’ve read your comments on other favorite blogs for quite a while. Previous publication does not mean you don’t have what it takes. I enjoy your thoughts and writing, immensely.
Ooooooooooo…your coming down under…let me know when, i can give you both the guided tour!
Ooooooooooo…your coming down under…let me know when, i can give you both the guided tour!
Ooooooooooo…your coming down under…let me know when, i can give you both the guided tour!
ty: the problem with fiction writing is one has great ideas, lousy endings. by “one” i refer to myself, of course.
collin: given my own experience, i don’t know whether to laugh or cry or throw up reading about yours.
green-eyed lady: thanks again for the support. all i ask is that if my novel is published, you buy 100 copies, and all your friends buy 100 copies.
michelle: i don’t know if i’m going to get the book translated into australian.
ty: the problem with fiction writing is one has great ideas, lousy endings. by “one” i refer to myself, of course.
collin: given my own experience, i don’t know whether to laugh or cry or throw up reading about yours.
ty: the problem with fiction writing is one has great ideas, lousy endings. by “one” i refer to myself, of course.
collin: given my own experience, i don’t know whether to laugh or cry or throw up reading about yours.
green-eyed lady: thanks again for the support. all i ask is that if my novel is published, you buy 100 copies, and all your friends buy 100 copies.
michelle: i don’t know if i’m going to get the book translated into australian.
green-eyed lady: thanks again for the support. all i ask is that if my novel is published, you buy 100 copies, and all your friends buy 100 copies.
michelle: i don’t know if i’m going to get the book translated into australian.
I just picked up Kurt Vonnegut’s “Bagombo Snuff Box:
Uncollected Short Fiction”. In his intro to the book, he mentions that he didn’t get published until he was 47. Not sure if that’s any consolation or not but as I read his intro on my plane back to Detroit, I made myself a note to share that with you. Hope you get some good news soon!
I just picked up Kurt Vonnegut’s “Bagombo Snuff Box:
Uncollected Short Fiction”. In his intro to the book, he mentions that he didn’t get published until he was 47. Not sure if that’s any consolation or not but as I read his intro on my plane back to Detroit, I made myself a note to share that with you. Hope you get some good news soon!
I just picked up Kurt Vonnegut’s “Bagombo Snuff Box:
Uncollected Short Fiction”. In his intro to the book, he mentions that he didn’t get published until he was 47. Not sure if that’s any consolation or not but as I read his intro on my plane back to Detroit, I made myself a note to share that with you. Hope you get some good news soon!