I would like to set the record straight on a little matter involving sports. Wrestling – not ersatz, professional “wrestling,” but the kind practiced in high school, college, and the Olympics – is not erotic. Sure, there’s plenty of sweaty guys with hot bodies knotted into seemingly kinky positions (yeah, yeah, look at the picture), but if you’ve been in the sport, you know better.
A double root canal is a bigger turn on than wrestling. As is stamping invoices or watching C-SPAN with the sound off.
The math is simple: wrestling is the hardest sport out there, period. A single high school match is the aerobic equivalent of sprinting for six minutes. Your body is twisted and mangled in shapes for which it was not designed. You are thrown around, subjected to painful holds, your face mashed and hit; all of this is legal.
Training is hell on earth. One’s life is spent lifting weights, running windsprints until you’re sick and then some more, and wrestling in overheated rooms, your body drenched, your ears mashed into cauliflower. And the offseason is just more of the same.
This is a good time?
Then there’s cutting weight. I wrestled at 138 pounds in high school, even though I was closer to 145, the next class up, so I’d have to lose 5 to 7 pounds each week. I cannot describe how awful this was to a growing boy who loved to eat.
I joined the team after my freshman soccer coach, also the freshman wrestling coach, talked me into it. Wrestling is a great sport, but not necessarily fun, even if you are successful. There’s a tremendous amount of satisfaction when you win, but I can’t say I ever looked forward to a match. You don’t get the adrenaline rush of scoring a touchdown or hitting a home run.
(Please, I know many love to wrestle. They think it’s the best sport ever created. Otherwise they wouldn’t devote their lives to it. Just don’t tell me how you’d rather wrestle and lose than play basketball, or I’m an idiot, etc.; I know this already.)
Now, more than 20 years later, I’ll see NCAA or Olympic wrestling on television, or hear tales from my brother, a far superior grappler than I ever was, and I’ll think, “Why did I ever quit? I might have been good.”
Talk about delusional. Not only was I simply average, I never loved wrestling, a prerequisite if you want to take this sadomasochistic sport seriously. As a 15-year-old, it wasn’t a good time. I quit after a couple of years, preferring a full buffet and less pain, and never looked back, until now.
Because wrestling is a noble endeavor of sacrifice and toil, I forget just how hard it is. I like telling people I wrestled in high school (for two whole years! wow!), as it makes me look like a tough guy. Wife sometimes mentions my wrestling past to others, which is cool.
Having returned from the AWP convention, I’ve also been having fits of selective memory about writing. I wonder why my work didn’t fly when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I think: Damn, if I’d just not been so headstrong and actually listened to teachers, if I’d taken writing seriously instead of treating it as a lark, I wouldn’t have wasted all those years writing full-fledged drek.
Instead of writing stories that were a series of jokes strung around a silly plot, lacking whole characters or evocative prose, maybe I would have actually published stuff earlier.
Here’s where the selective memory comes in. The above version of events leaves out several important details. My 20s were largely a lost decade, spent grappling (ha) with bad relationships, bad geography, and a bad job. I was profoundly unhappy, which manifest itself in my writing, bitter and cerebral and bad.
Nor did I get the “wacky” thing out of my system until I was in my mid-30s. I finally got the idea that it was fine to have normal people doing normal things and normal emotions, and my writing improved appreciably. (Having Wife around didn’t hurt, either).
But I’d like to think that things weren’t as bad as they seemed, and I could have been a great writer at 25. Selective memory plays its rotten tricks.
All I have to do is read some of my early work to realize this. Too bad I’ve burned it.
also, i don’t want to think about wrestling 13 year-olds with beards.
also, i don’t want to think about wrestling 13 year-olds with beards.
also, i don’t want to think about wrestling 13 year-olds with beards.
Never look back on mighta beens, especially if they involve rolling around with another guy.
Your writing is great, don’t sell yourself short.
Also, thank you so much for the kind words in my comments. I too felt like I’d been kicked in the gut and wasn’t sure I could get the words to really translate that to the readers.
hmmm, it doesn’t seen normal…skinny guys wrestling. I always see em looking like lard arses, i don’t know, i think i like the lard arse ones cause they appear to be more viscious.
Never look back on mighta beens, especially if they involve rolling around with another guy.
Your writing is great, don’t sell yourself short.
Also, thank you so much for the kind words in my comments. I too felt like I’d been kicked in the gut and wasn’t sure I could get the words to really translate that to the readers.
Never look back on mighta beens, especially if they involve rolling around with another guy.
Your writing is great, don’t sell yourself short.
Also, thank you so much for the kind words in my comments. I too felt like I’d been kicked in the gut and wasn’t sure I could get the words to really translate that to the readers.
hmmm, it doesn’t seen normal…skinny guys wrestling. I always see em looking like lard arses, i don’t know, i think i like the lard arse ones cause they appear to be more viscious.
hmmm, it doesn’t seen normal…skinny guys wrestling. I always see em looking like lard arses, i don’t know, i think i like the lard arse ones cause they appear to be more viscious.
I think with writing or anything else you have to be who you are. To conform to what is considered “good” or “right” is to give up, which I don’t think you have. You seem to have honed a strong voice that can be very humorous but have not abandoned the uniqueness of what makes your writing yours. Personally, I could never change the way I write. I might be able to tone some things down and improve in some areas but if I had to write like a many of the “best selling” authors I would bore myself to death.
Not only is wrestling like running wind sprints but then you have someone choking you and you just about pass out from not having any air. My younger brother was very good at it but I was a little husky for my size when I was younger and had to wrestle kids that were six feet tall with beards when I was thirteen. Now, football and baseball were fun and I stuck with those but wrestling that didn’t last long…
Lois: rolling around in the past about rolling around with other guys is pointless, indeed.
Michelle: no lard-asses in wrestling, unless you’re watching wwe. to be any good, you have to be in shape. to an excruciating degree.
Kero: thanks for the note. i don’t think my writing conforms to what’s considered “right; in the past, it was simply that i wasn’t writing anything good. in order to find my voice i had to lose it first.
I see. I think what makes your writing good is that it doesn’t sound “bitter” but I get the feeling that you are having fun (for lack of a better word) and that playfulness really comes through.
Yeah, thirteen year olds with beards that went through puberty when they were nine. It was like pitting a spider monkey against a mountain gorilla…
I think with writing or anything else you have to be who you are. To conform to what is considered “good” or “right” is to give up, which I don’t think you have. You seem to have honed a strong voice that can be very humorous but have not abandoned the uniqueness of what makes your writing yours. Personally, I could never change the way I write. I might be able to tone some things down and improve in some areas but if I had to write like a many of the “best selling” authors I would bore myself to death.
Not only is wrestling like running wind sprints but then you have someone choking you and you just about pass out from not having any air. My younger brother was very good at it but I was a little husky for my size when I was younger and had to wrestle kids that were six feet tall with beards when I was thirteen. Now, football and baseball were fun and I stuck with those but wrestling that didn’t last long…
I think with writing or anything else you have to be who you are. To conform to what is considered “good” or “right” is to give up, which I don’t think you have. You seem to have honed a strong voice that can be very humorous but have not abandoned the uniqueness of what makes your writing yours. Personally, I could never change the way I write. I might be able to tone some things down and improve in some areas but if I had to write like a many of the “best selling” authors I would bore myself to death.
Not only is wrestling like running wind sprints but then you have someone choking you and you just about pass out from not having any air. My younger brother was very good at it but I was a little husky for my size when I was younger and had to wrestle kids that were six feet tall with beards when I was thirteen. Now, football and baseball were fun and I stuck with those but wrestling that didn’t last long…
Lois: rolling around in the past about rolling around with other guys is pointless, indeed.
Michelle: no lard-asses in wrestling, unless you’re watching wwe. to be any good, you have to be in shape. to an excruciating degree.
Kero: thanks for the note. i don’t think my writing conforms to what’s considered “right; in the past, it was simply that i wasn’t writing anything good. in order to find my voice i had to lose it first.
Lois: rolling around in the past about rolling around with other guys is pointless, indeed.
Michelle: no lard-asses in wrestling, unless you’re watching wwe. to be any good, you have to be in shape. to an excruciating degree.
Kero: thanks for the note. i don’t think my writing conforms to what’s considered “right; in the past, it was simply that i wasn’t writing anything good. in order to find my voice i had to lose it first.
I see. I think what makes your writing good is that it doesn’t sound “bitter” but I get the feeling that you are having fun (for lack of a better word) and that playfulness really comes through.
Yeah, thirteen year olds with beards that went through puberty when they were nine. It was like pitting a spider monkey against a mountain gorilla…
I see. I think what makes your writing good is that it doesn’t sound “bitter” but I get the feeling that you are having fun (for lack of a better word) and that playfulness really comes through.
Yeah, thirteen year olds with beards that went through puberty when they were nine. It was like pitting a spider monkey against a mountain gorilla…
You know, I’ve always had tremendous respect for wrestlers. Ultimate athlete, a wrestler. You need strength, speed, speed, speed, flexibility, endurance, and brains to win.
You know, I’ve always had tremendous respect for wrestlers. Ultimate athlete, a wrestler. You need strength, speed, speed, speed, flexibility, endurance, and brains to win.
You know, I’ve always had tremendous respect for wrestlers. Ultimate athlete, a wrestler. You need strength, speed, speed, speed, flexibility, endurance, and brains to win.
Former wrestlers make good writers. Just look at John Irving. He’s the best.
Kero: some people can write well with the demons chasing them; I ain’t one of ‘em.
BB: you are right about wrestlers. you also have to be a bit insane. and like abnegation.
Steve: i forgot about irving, he’s great and a wrestler. hemmingway boxed, and faulkner rode horses. drunk.
Former wrestlers make good writers. Just look at John Irving. He’s the best.
Former wrestlers make good writers. Just look at John Irving. He’s the best.
Steve took my comment….great minds think alike.
I dated a wrestler when I was in high school…and I think I’ll leave it at that.
Kero: some people can write well with the demons chasing them; I ain’t one of ‘em.
BB: you are right about wrestlers. you also have to be a bit insane. and like abnegation.
Steve: i forgot about irving, he’s great and a wrestler. hemmingway boxed, and faulkner rode horses. drunk.
Kero: some people can write well with the demons chasing them; I ain’t one of ‘em.
BB: you are right about wrestlers. you also have to be a bit insane. and like abnegation.
Steve: i forgot about irving, he’s great and a wrestler. hemmingway boxed, and faulkner rode horses. drunk.
but come on, what the hell do 25 year olds know? no one’s a good writer at 25.
they say women tame the beast…the wife did good
Steve took my comment….great minds think alike.
I dated a wrestler when I was in high school…and I think I’ll leave it at that.
Steve took my comment….great minds think alike.
I dated a wrestler when I was in high school…and I think I’ll leave it at that.
but come on, what the hell do 25 year olds know? no one’s a good writer at 25.
they say women tame the beast…the wife did good
but come on, what the hell do 25 year olds know? no one’s a good writer at 25.
they say women tame the beast…the wife did good
Glitz: was dating a wrestler as difficult as being one? never thought about it, because i’ve never wanted to date one.
citygurl: you’re right, of course. nobody knows anything at 25, though i thought i would be starting my lit career by that age (as have others). there are good writers at 25, even if the list is short.
*smirk* dating that wrestler wasn’t difficult at all a bit boring in the end, but fun while it lasted. (read that as PURELY physical)
Glitz: was dating a wrestler as difficult as being one? never thought about it, because i’ve never wanted to date one.
citygurl: you’re right, of course. nobody knows anything at 25, though i thought i would be starting my lit career by that age (as have others). there are good writers at 25, even if the list is short.
Glitz: was dating a wrestler as difficult as being one? never thought about it, because i’ve never wanted to date one.
citygurl: you’re right, of course. nobody knows anything at 25, though i thought i would be starting my lit career by that age (as have others). there are good writers at 25, even if the list is short.
*smirk* dating that wrestler wasn’t difficult at all a bit boring in the end, but fun while it lasted. (read that as PURELY physical)
*smirk* dating that wrestler wasn’t difficult at all a bit boring in the end, but fun while it lasted. (read that as PURELY physical)
i imagine he was flexible. in addition to being a stud.
i imagine he was flexible. in addition to being a stud.
i imagine he was flexible. in addition to being a stud.
By the way, you may be interested in the new professional wrestling league, RealPro Wrestling, promoted by Dan Gable and Rulon Gardner. As you’d guess from its sponsors, it’s an unscripted, unrehearsed answer to WWE, featuring the best wrestlers out of college. As in college and high school, regional teams face off in meets. Matches are scored on points. A few innovations are supposed to make things go faster.
PAX and FOX Sports Network occasionally carry the meets.
Peter: i’ve caught RPW a few times. Not bad. high quality wrestling.
they need to wear real singlets, though; sweaty bodies wearing thongs are kinda gross.
wish they’d just show entire matches instead of just recaps. drains all the drama out of it. and that announcer sounds narcoleptic.
also the team concept has to go. the texas shooters (ha, i get it)? the n.y. outrage? i didn’t even know n.y. had a pro wrestling team.
I haven’t seen RPW televised yet, but I think they should not try to be a superstar league a la NBA. It should continue to cater to fans who have the patience to follow control-and-pin wrestling. (I don’t think they have pins, do they?) It’ll be enough if they can capture a loyal audience of real fans. Like the NHL, before it expanded south and west.
I don’t think the teams are a bad idea, though I doubt they’ll generate the excitment the league is hoping for. And the names, you’re right, are complete misses. They’re like the names of indoor soccer teams, trying too hard to be edgy, in-your-face. They should have considered those overlong, overspecific names of late 19th c. sports teams, such as the New York Metropolitan Wrestling Club, The Statewide Pennsylvanian Wrestling Fellows. They’re somehow morally elevating, purposeful.
Edited By Siteowner
By the way, you may be interested in the new professional wrestling league, RealPro Wrestling, promoted by Dan Gable and Rulon Gardner. As you’d guess from its sponsors, it’s an unscripted, unrehearsed answer to WWE, featuring the best wrestlers out of college. As in college and high school, regional teams face off in meets. Matches are scored on points. A few innovations are supposed to make things go faster.
PAX and FOX Sports Network occasionally carry the meets.
By the way, you may be interested in the new professional wrestling league, RealPro Wrestling, promoted by Dan Gable and Rulon Gardner. As you’d guess from its sponsors, it’s an unscripted, unrehearsed answer to WWE, featuring the best wrestlers out of college. As in college and high school, regional teams face off in meets. Matches are scored on points. A few innovations are supposed to make things go faster.
PAX and FOX Sports Network occasionally carry the meets.
Peter: i’ve caught RPW a few times. Not bad. high quality wrestling.
they need to wear real singlets, though; sweaty bodies wearing thongs are kinda gross.
wish they’d just show entire matches instead of just recaps. drains all the drama out of it. and that announcer sounds narcoleptic.
also the team concept has to go. the texas shooters (ha, i get it)? the n.y. outrage? i didn’t even know n.y. had a pro wrestling team.
Peter: i’ve caught RPW a few times. Not bad. high quality wrestling.
they need to wear real singlets, though; sweaty bodies wearing thongs are kinda gross.
wish they’d just show entire matches instead of just recaps. drains all the drama out of it. and that announcer sounds narcoleptic.
also the team concept has to go. the texas shooters (ha, i get it)? the n.y. outrage? i didn’t even know n.y. had a pro wrestling team.
I haven’t seen RPW televised yet, but I think they should not try to be a superstar league a la NBA. It should continue to cater to fans who have the patience to follow control-and-pin wrestling. (I don’t think they have pins, do they?) It’ll be enough if they can capture a loyal audience of real fans. Like the NHL, before it expanded south and west.
I don’t think the teams are a bad idea, though I doubt they’ll generate the excitment the league is hoping for. And the names, you’re right, are complete misses. They’re like the names of indoor soccer teams, trying too hard to be edgy, in-your-face. They should have considered those overlong, overspecific names of late 19th c. sports teams, such as the New York Metropolitan Wrestling Club, The Statewide Pennsylvanian Wrestling Fellows. They’re somehow morally elevating, purposeful.
Edited By Siteowner