“So,” asked Friend of Wife,“what are you going to write about the conference in the blog?” I must admit I had no answer.
The AWP conference,which ended Sunday,had been going remarkably well. There had not been any stupid neurotic worries or ridiculous moments of self-loathing. I had met many excellent people,and saw some old friends,all such encounters lacking drama. I had many drinks and did not throw up on anyone,nor did I have the desire to.
All in all,a success. But it also meant I couldn’t feel sorry for myself. Without a single iota of heartbreak,feelings of inadequacy,or silent resentment.
Just what the hell could I bitch about? In other words,did I have any blog material whatsoever?
No worries
Even after Friend of Wife made her astute observation,I lacked of despair,anger,or other such woe. I had too much to drink on Friday (didn’t say or do anything stupid that I recall) and missed a panel discussion on Saturday. I also sat through half a rotten session,all of a half-good session,and ambled the book fair without incident. I went to Stanley Park,Granville Island,and a sampled some of the city’s seafood,which was top notch.
This is not the stuff of high drama.
On the 1:30 a.m. taxi ride from the airport,I rode past a row of zaftig women in hot pants and fake furs,holding shiny purses and wearing wigs (I didn’t stop). When one counts a large number of crying babies on the fight out as one of the worst things that happened,it leaves little room for despair.
There must have been something that went wrong in Vancouver —perhaps,using my remaining brain cells not drowned in Molson’s and vodka tonics,I can remember an what it was. Someone who runs a lit mag dissed some I know,a pointless insult the person quickly shook off. Wife abandoned me for fifteen minutes at a party while I guarded her purse and she chatted up an editor. Was buzzed enough at the time not to care.
Perhaps the worst part of it all is that Wife will have all the reason to say that she told me so. “You’re going to have a great time,and everything’s going to be excellent,”she said. Damnit,Wife was right once more.
We agreed that if there was any angst,it came at the book fair,in which publishers and literary journals hawk their wares,trade-show style.
“That magazine rejected me,”I said,passing one booth.
“That one rejected me,”Wife said,passing another.
We bonded.
I passed out business cards,wrote the blog’s URL on them,and briefly worried that someone would actually read the thing,and unmask me to the world for the messed up bottle of nerves that I am. Lacked a pen at one point and wrote down “http://bookfraud…” using an eyebrow pencil. Whoo hoo.
These pititful non-events are the best drama this brooding loner can deliver to faithful readers awaiting tales of resentment,anger,and vomitus.
I missed saying goodbye to a friend after we were supposed to meet at a bar. That was the lowlight,besides a hangover one morning. Maybe tomorrow or the next day,when I am no longer exhausted and spent,I will think of something cogently interesting tell. But I doubt it.
I mean,I have nothing to complain about.
Bummer.
Well,that was benign. Like you,I expected bloodshed,muggings,snobbery,and a general atmosphere of disgust. I’m glad you had fun. Vancouver sounds very pleasant. I mean that nicely.
That sucks! I too wanted bloodshed,street fights,Cleopatra and a cast of thousands. Boring Vancouver!
Well,at least you got to drink beer that tastes like beer for a change.
i couldn’t see blood shed with this group. lots of poets,though they can get testy,too,especially after drinking. and no snobbery or otherwise.
Well,that was benign. Like you,I expected bloodshed,muggings,snobbery,and a general atmosphere of disgust. I’m glad you had fun. Vancouver sounds very pleasant. I mean that nicely.
Well,that was benign. Like you,I expected bloodshed,muggings,snobbery,and a general atmosphere of disgust. I’m glad you had fun. Vancouver sounds very pleasant. I mean that nicely.
dear god!? no…bloodshed!? that’s it!? none!? oh jeezus,what’s the point of it all then? why even go on living any longer!?
were running out of excuses to drink…hurry,make something up!
you know I say all this in the nicest jest possible for someone like me…
See,Bookfraud,right about now I’d start making things up. Maybe fling a throwing star at a publisher who turned me down. Imagination can be everything.
That sucks! I too wanted bloodshed,street fights,Cleopatra and a cast of thousands. Boring Vancouver!
Well,at least you got to drink beer that tastes like beer for a change.
That sucks! I too wanted bloodshed,street fights,Cleopatra and a cast of thousands. Boring Vancouver!
Well,at least you got to drink beer that tastes like beer for a change.
i couldn’t see blood shed with this group. lots of poets,though they can get testy,too,especially after drinking. and no snobbery or otherwise.
i couldn’t see blood shed with this group. lots of poets,though they can get testy,too,especially after drinking. and no snobbery or otherwise.
dear god!? no…bloodshed!? that’s it!? none!? oh jeezus,what’s the point of it all then? why even go on living any longer!?
were running out of excuses to drink…hurry,make something up!
you know I say all this in the nicest jest possible for someone like me…
dear god!? no…bloodshed!? that’s it!? none!? oh jeezus,what’s the point of it all then? why even go on living any longer!?
were running out of excuses to drink…hurry,make something up!
you know I say all this in the nicest jest possible for someone like me…
See,Bookfraud,right about now I’d start making things up. Maybe fling a throwing star at a publisher who turned me down. Imagination can be everything.
See,Bookfraud,right about now I’d start making things up. Maybe fling a throwing star at a publisher who turned me down. Imagination can be everything.
Sounds like you had a good time. I like the bit about you and your wife bonding. Too cute!
Lois Lane
wait.
people write for money?
fuck me runnin.
*Sigh* I wanted drama about people screwing in elevators…..writers having nervous breakdowns……poets in tears and drunken fist fights…wtf happened?
Sounds like you had a good time. I like the bit about you and your wife bonding. Too cute!
Lois Lane
Sounds like you had a good time. I like the bit about you and your wife bonding. Too cute!
Lois Lane
wait.
people write for money?
fuck me runnin.
wait.
people write for money?
fuck me runnin.
*Sigh* I wanted drama about people screwing in elevators…..writers having nervous breakdowns……poets in tears and drunken fist fights…wtf happened?
*Sigh* I wanted drama about people screwing in elevators…..writers having nervous breakdowns……poets in tears and drunken fist fights…wtf happened?
again,sorry to disappoint all those looking for death and destruction. i tried. but the canadian government has a strict ban on importing firearms.
also,being a newbie to haloscan,why is it there are about 8 comments,but it only says 1? it will go to 2 or 3,and then back to 1? why why why?
again,sorry to disappoint all those looking for death and destruction. i tried. but the canadian government has a strict ban on importing firearms.
also,being a newbie to haloscan,why is it there are about 8 comments,but it only says 1? it will go to 2 or 3,and then back to 1? why why why?
again,sorry to disappoint all those looking for death and destruction. i tried. but the canadian government has a strict ban on importing firearms.
also,being a newbie to haloscan,why is it there are about 8 comments,but it only says 1? it will go to 2 or 3,and then back to 1? why why why?
Goshdarnit! I’ve been eagerly awaiting tales of resentment,anger,and vomitus.
Sounds like you at least had some good alcohol in your system. Glad the trip wasn’t a big ‘ol thorn in your side.
Do you think you would recommend the experience to anyone that is interested in getting published?
so many comments. so little time.
sarcastrix:i know you were eager to hear of debauchery in your native land. but it ain’t so.
glitzy:i am no longer equipped to do the kind of drinking of last weekend. i should have stopped after six drinks on friday night,four on saturday.
kero:i would recommend it,though i would not go alone or wihtout knowing others attending. most all of the editors there are approachable at the conference itself,though when it comes to parties (publications throw them all over),there’s a lot of “hey,haven’t seen you in ages!”type of discussion.
Goshdarnit! I’ve been eagerly awaiting tales of resentment,anger,and vomitus.
Goshdarnit! I’ve been eagerly awaiting tales of resentment,anger,and vomitus.
Sounds like you at least had some good alcohol in your system. Glad the trip wasn’t a big ‘ol thorn in your side.
Sounds like you at least had some good alcohol in your system. Glad the trip wasn’t a big ‘ol thorn in your side.
Do you think you would recommend the experience to anyone that is interested in getting published?
Do you think you would recommend the experience to anyone that is interested in getting published?
so many comments. so little time.
sarcastrix:i know you were eager to hear of debauchery in your native land. but it ain’t so.
glitzy:i am no longer equipped to do the kind of drinking of last weekend. i should have stopped after six drinks on friday night,four on saturday.
kero:i would recommend it,though i would not go alone or wihtout knowing others attending. most all of the editors there are approachable at the conference itself,though when it comes to parties (publications throw them all over),there’s a lot of “hey,haven’t seen you in ages!”type of discussion.
so many comments. so little time.
sarcastrix:i know you were eager to hear of debauchery in your native land. but it ain’t so.
glitzy:i am no longer equipped to do the kind of drinking of last weekend. i should have stopped after six drinks on friday night,four on saturday.
kero:i would recommend it,though i would not go alone or wihtout knowing others attending. most all of the editors there are approachable at the conference itself,though when it comes to parties (publications throw them all over),there’s a lot of “hey,haven’t seen you in ages!”type of discussion.
haloscan sucks,too,yo.
haloscan sucks,too,yo.
haloscan sucks,too,yo.
Michelle,with Ted and Sylvia both gone,I guess we’ll have to look elsewhere for tears,fistfights,and nervous breakdowns. Oh,wait–I guess poets have ceded that scene to Jerry Springer.
BF–quit misleading your public. ;-0 Every writer has a slew of journals which has rejected them. Perhaps it’s just that you don’t want to bond with everybody.
Michelle,with Ted and Sylvia both gone,I guess we’ll have to look elsewhere for tears,fistfights,and nervous breakdowns. Oh,wait–I guess poets have ceded that scene to Jerry Springer.
BF–quit misleading your public. ;-0 Every writer has a slew of journals which has rejected them. Perhaps it’s just that you don’t want to bond with everybody.
Michelle,with Ted and Sylvia both gone,I guess we’ll have to look elsewhere for tears,fistfights,and nervous breakdowns. Oh,wait–I guess poets have ceded that scene to Jerry Springer.
BF–quit misleading your public. ;-0 Every writer has a slew of journals which has rejected them. Perhaps it’s just that you don’t want to bond with everybody.