Back in the mid-1990s, I ended up behind the microphone doing stand-up for a couple of nights (don’t ask). Part of my act consisted of putting on fake sideburns, sunglasses, and reading Elvis Haiku.
You didn’t know that Elvis wrote haiku, even from the grave? Elvis was an extremely messed up, brilliant man. He could do it all.
Inspired by tblue and his sudden affection for haiku (I highly recommend you sample his fine work), I dug up these untitled gems from lo these many years ago, some great, some lame, but all worthy of the King.
feeling so happy
wearing my rhinestone jumpsuit
met Richard Nixon
it’s hot in Vegas
took blue pills before the show
I passed out on stage
Nixon was impressed
When I found out who
had taken my daughter’s hand
I killed the fucker
nobody knows that
inside Sun Studio, I
took a dump all night
codeine, dilaudid,
demerol, uppers, quaaludes,
fried-lard sandwiches
had these funny thoughts
they said it was Oedipal
but I want my mom
Dr. Nick would not
unlock the trailer of drugs
karate kick hurt
I shot my TVs
Box of Ex-Lax for dinner
Col. Tom was there
I had been divorced
put a hit on Pricilla
watched “Gidget” instead
my dead twin brother
was buried in Tupelo
amphetamines, sure
singing “Burning Love”
totally felt the music
my dick was on fire
on August 16
I went like a King should go
sitting on the throne
Thank ya very much. Elvis has left the building.
Those killed me. They sound so crazy when broken down haiku style, but they’re true. Just out of context. Brilliant.
Those killed me. They sound so crazy when broken down haiku style, but they’re true. Just out of context. Brilliant.
Those killed me. They sound so crazy when broken down haiku style, but they’re true. Just out of context. Brilliant.
Dude, those Elvis Haikus got me all shook up.
Have a groovy day!
Lois Lane
Oh, honey, those are awesome.
Some mighty, mighty talent you’ve got there.
I’ve got haiku lovers AND Elvis lovers who will love you for this.
BF, you ol hound dog you! I wanted a photo of you in Elvis gear!
)
Did you know there’s been sightings of Elvis here selling used cars?
lois: i’m glad you’re all shook up — big hunk o’ love, over and out.
Mme. debarge: just tell them the King sent ya. thanks for the kind words.
michelle: as far as the pic in elvis gear, have you been speaking with Wife?
as to elvis sightings — i’ve heard the rumors. i’ve seen the footage. i’ve read the transcripts. i will tell you this: elvis is not alive, not in Memphis, not in Oz, nowhere. if you saw a picture of him 1 month before he kicked, you’d say, “this man isn’t long for this world.”
oh, you must get haloscan!
you are brilliant! I am a terrible poet, and I happen to love haiku, love it…I just suck at it…
Heck Yes!
I did my best with a “little less conversation,” but I wanted to keep it linear so my poem kinda sucks. Oh, well.
a little more bite
and a little less bark. a
little less fight, a
You see? It won’t fucking end right. Fucking King.
i just added haloscan, and now all of my comments are gone. shit.
Bravo. Encore.
i just added haloscan, and now all of my comments are gone. shit.
i just added haloscan, and now all of my comments are gone. shit.
Bravo. Encore.
Bravo. Encore.
That was hilarious. The King sure could write Hiaku. I never knew he possessed such talents.
Also, thanks for the feedback on my Prolgue. It’s rough yet and I’m trying to get feedback so I can tighten it up. And yes I have been in many graduate school writing classes. I have a masters in fiction writing from Johns Hopkins. Some of the people in my classes went way beyond rude in their critiques and things got personal. I never really came down hard on people if they’re writing sucked, it just wasn’t my style to hurt their feelings but some people got off on that shit.
there is a way to get them back…email blue at wdavis0001@att.com–he’s a whiz and helped me…
bugsbutt: thank you. i may return to the studio for more.
kero: i’m a grad school veteran myself, and know the types. but at my school, it was the opposite: nobody dared say anything “negative” about a story. even the crappiest of the crap would generate praise. if i write something shitty, i want to know about it. in a constructive, gentle way, of course.
gurl: i’ve figured out that i can find the comments by clicking on the story links on the right-hand column. i will not criticize you for your halo scan suggestions, however tempted i might be…
Excellent! I echo LBB’s request for an encore.
I haven’t switched to haloscan for that very reason: I don’t want to lose my comments.
That was hilarious. The King sure could write Hiaku. I never knew he possessed such talents.
Also, thanks for the feedback on my Prolgue. It’s rough yet and I’m trying to get feedback so I can tighten it up. And yes I have been in many graduate school writing classes. I have a masters in fiction writing from Johns Hopkins. Some of the people in my classes went way beyond rude in their critiques and things got personal. I never really came down hard on people if they’re writing sucked, it just wasn’t my style to hurt their feelings but some people got off on that shit.
That was hilarious. The King sure could write Hiaku. I never knew he possessed such talents.
Also, thanks for the feedback on my Prolgue. It’s rough yet and I’m trying to get feedback so I can tighten it up. And yes I have been in many graduate school writing classes. I have a masters in fiction writing from Johns Hopkins. Some of the people in my classes went way beyond rude in their critiques and things got personal. I never really came down hard on people if they’re writing sucked, it just wasn’t my style to hurt their feelings but some people got off on that shit.
there is a way to get them back…email blue at wdavis0001@att.com–he’s a whiz and helped me…
there is a way to get them back…email blue at wdavis0001@att.com–he’s a whiz and helped me…
bugsbutt: thank you. i may return to the studio for more.
kero: i’m a grad school veteran myself, and know the types. but at my school, it was the opposite: nobody dared say anything “negative” about a story. even the crappiest of the crap would generate praise. if i write something shitty, i want to know about it. in a constructive, gentle way, of course.
gurl: i’ve figured out that i can find the comments by clicking on the story links on the right-hand column. i will not criticize you for your halo scan suggestions, however tempted i might be…
bugsbutt: thank you. i may return to the studio for more.
kero: i’m a grad school veteran myself, and know the types. but at my school, it was the opposite: nobody dared say anything “negative” about a story. even the crappiest of the crap would generate praise. if i write something shitty, i want to know about it. in a constructive, gentle way, of course.
gurl: i’ve figured out that i can find the comments by clicking on the story links on the right-hand column. i will not criticize you for your halo scan suggestions, however tempted i might be…
Excellent! I echo LBB’s request for an encore.
I haven’t switched to haloscan for that very reason: I don’t want to lose my comments.
Excellent! I echo LBB’s request for an encore.
I haven’t switched to haloscan for that very reason: I don’t want to lose my comments.
heyyyyyy wtf happened to my comment?!!
heyyyyyy wtf happened to my comment?!!
heyyyyyy wtf happened to my comment?!!
thank God you got haloscan.
now, about that MEGA-UNI you attended. are we talking big ten?
steve: will try for an encore following my trip to vancouver, which is tonight. sigh.
michelle: it’s not like I don’t like you!
ty: say “m go blue.”
Another Steve has been writing haikus, as well, although none of them involve Elvis. He’s been having fun with anagrams, as well, which seems like something you might enjoy. http://www.stevehouchin.blogspot.com/
Vancouver: you lucky dog!
Very funny stuff.
Did you know Elvis was hopped up on pills when he went to talk to Nixon about an anti-drug campaign?
thank God you got haloscan.
now, about that MEGA-UNI you attended. are we talking big ten?
thank God you got haloscan.
now, about that MEGA-UNI you attended. are we talking big ten?
steve: will try for an encore following my trip to vancouver, which is tonight. sigh.
michelle: it’s not like I don’t like you!
ty: say “m go blue.”
steve: will try for an encore following my trip to vancouver, which is tonight. sigh.
michelle: it’s not like I don’t like you!
ty: say “m go blue.”
Another Steve has been writing haikus, as well, although none of them involve Elvis. He’s been having fun with anagrams, as well, which seems like something you might enjoy. http://www.stevehouchin.blogspot.com/
Vancouver: you lucky dog!
Another Steve has been writing haikus, as well, although none of them involve Elvis. He’s been having fun with anagrams, as well, which seems like something you might enjoy. http://www.stevehouchin.blogspot.com/
Vancouver: you lucky dog!
Very funny stuff.
Did you know Elvis was hopped up on pills when he went to talk to Nixon about an anti-drug campaign?
Very funny stuff.
Did you know Elvis was hopped up on pills when he went to talk to Nixon about an anti-drug campaign?
Noooooo!
Lookit me. I’m that Munch painting t-shirt.
m-m-m-m [m-m malcolm. spike lee reference, sorry.]
muck fichigan.
Noooooo!
Lookit me. I’m that Munch painting t-shirt.
m-m-m-m [m-m malcolm. spike lee reference, sorry.]
muck fichigan.
Noooooo!
Lookit me. I’m that Munch painting t-shirt.
m-m-m-m [m-m malcolm. spike lee reference, sorry.]
muck fichigan.
here’s a haiku my brother wrote:
democracy’s dead
and journalism’s dead, too
but damn, lunch was good
Hilarious!!!
here’s a haiku my brother wrote:
democracy’s dead
and journalism’s dead, too
but damn, lunch was good
here’s a haiku my brother wrote:
democracy’s dead
and journalism’s dead, too
but damn, lunch was good
Hilarious!!!