My Fellow Cybertravelers,
It is without shame or hesitation that I write today, without the slightest trace of irony or cynicism that marks my usual correspondence, and our society as a whole. It is with the utmost sincerity and civic-mindedness that I type these words.
I would like to tell you of someone who has the power to change us, to help our society, and to make us better people. Someone whose straightforward mien and forward-looking attitudes can change people’s lives. Someone who does changes peoples’ lives. A person larger than life. A person who is my hero. A person whose spirit we should all endeavor to embody.
I speak, of course, of Judge Judy.
Nee Judith Sheindlin, a former veteran of the New York court system, Judge Judy is familiar to us as the star of a television show. Called Judge Judy. I make a point of watching Judge Judy at every opportunity. You should, too. You will be a better person as a result.
I speak not of Judge Judy’s directions to the unemployed to obtain gainful employment. Or to deadbeat parents to do a better job of raising their children. Or of her ability to separate the truth from falsehood, her expertise in jurisprudence, and that terrible haircut of hers.
No, Judge Judy’s greatest attribute is a simple one: she tells stupid people that they are stupid. She yells at them for being stupid. If you have trouble with “coherent thought,” she will call you a “moron,” say “you’re not playing with a full deck,” and that you are “dumb as a pile of bricks.”
Judy rules
If you are less-than-stable, you are a “nutjob.” If you exhibited temper in an incident that brought you to court, you are “an angry nutjob.”
That is not all, of course. Anyone who doesn’t work, borrows money, and is overweight is instructed to “get off your fat behind and get a job.” If you are overweight and plead poverty in paying a debt even though you are obviously well off, Judge Judy notes that “you have enough money to be well fed.” I cannot do justice (no pun intended) to the intensity and vehemence with which she delivers these apt bon-mots.
But this just describes the surface of her depth. Interrupt Judge Judy and risk the wrath of Zeus. She tells people to shut up, zip it, can it. In an extremely loud and upsetting way.
Why, you ask, does this make us better citizens? How does it improve the body politic? It is simple. Because Judge Judy gets to say things to people all of us want to, perhaps every single day, but do not, instead adhering to propriety and the fear such people are carrying a .357 Magnum.
The jerk who pushes his way onto the bus, the backstabbing snake at the office, the blowhard politician telling us that bombing a nation will free it or the fundamentalist telling you and your children how to live your lives. We want to call them idiots, morons, jerks, because they are idiots, morons, jerks.
What makes it worse is that these people often rule our lives. Although some of these folks have the intellect of a small acquatic creature, they have power over us. They’re the big bullies who cut us off on the freeway and push us around. They’re the bosses who steal your ideas and rule by fear. They’re the buffoons in the salad line who pick over every single piece of lettuce like they’re doing brain surgery. We encounter these people every day of our lives. They make our lives miserable, but we never tell them of the misery they create.
Judge Judy does this for us. She liberates us. She exorcises the hate from our souls. She makes us proud that somebody, somewhere, gives these people their due by lamenting their stupidity and their rudeness, chafing at their petty scams, screaming bloody murder at parents more interested in partying than giving their children a hot meal.
I understand that those with more delicate natures find Judge Judy herself to be rude and uncouth. That she is nothing more than a big mouth with a gavel. Or that her legal reasoning is unsound. They would rather spend an entire day watching dental surgery on hillbillies or a group of NASCAR fans than one mere episode of Judge Judy.
To them I say, life can be difficult. Watching the truth can be difficult. But someone must say the truth. Someone must stand up for what is right.
On a more personal note, Judge Judy, like Jackie Chan and the Cubs, has made me a better writer. Seek the truth. Describe the real. Don’t be afraid to take chances.
It is with this understanding that I officially nominate Judge Judy to the Supreme Court. For a better legal system. For a better America.
Fantastic post BF. Oh how i’d love to match wits with Judge Judy on a matter. Even my 9 yold loves her show, “Mum, wouldn’t it be way cool if you got a Judge like her on your matters”…….*sigh*..maybe one day.
)
oh how I would love her job, I have so much to say….
I’d like to see Judge Judy in a “fight until death match” with Dubya… and we all know who would win. She’d mop the floor with his dumb ass.
Ah, Judge Judy. The magic that is her. Didn’t like her at first, but she’s gradually grown on me. Like eczema.
I especially love the people without proper documentation. Oh, she says the things that are in all our hearts.
michelle: no offense, but you don’t want to match wits with Judy on anything. “I’ll have you for lunch,” she’ll tell you. I sure don’t want to have her staring me down.
citygurl: here, here. there is so much to say, so little time, so many stupid people to say it to.
bees: J.J. v. W. is simply not fair. then again, he fits the profile of many of the people on her show. stupid, lazy, and blind to the truth.
madame: yes! i love it when she yells at people for not bringing in evidence. and oh, does she reflect our hearts, brimming with spleen.
BF, this isn’t really about Judge Judy, but I wanted to say thanks for your response to Films I Was Watching. For heaven’s sake, try to find a copy of Atomic Cafe–it uses actual newsreels and footage from the 1940s and 1950s–unbelievable.
I especially love it when 1 party has documentation and is completely prepared and the other is just pretty and/or charming and thinks they’ll get away with it because of that. (Not necessarily always women) It is so great when she harangues them about trying to get by on charm or whatever. Yes, I too am Judge Judy’s bitch.
english prof: you’re welcome on the film comment. you aren’t the first to recommend atomic cafe, so i guess i have to watch it.
joanne: you are so right. judy is awesome when it comes to puncturing the charming cads and pretty lasses who have skated by in this life.
LOL your correct BF she sure would ave me for lunch…but my what a laugh i would have, at least it wouldn’t be boring
i was addicted to her but had to stop. i am a total softy for classism and i was laughing at the poor way too much.
but you caused me to wonder just how long it will be b4 PHD candidates in Globalization…..oops, i mean in Comp Studies are defending their views on such shows to the board when they attempt to leave the academy with their final degrees?
hmmm…I never really sat through a Judge Judy case….maybe I will now
Great! I always knew Judge Judy was the “Second Coming”, ever since she was on Saturday Night Live. She is so obviously a warrior of the heavens, trying to get people to “do right”.
“I mean, when I got taken to court by my ex-husband for stealing his car and driving to Mexico with my new boyfriend, I couldn’t see that what I was doing was wrong. Then I went on Judge Judy’s show, and she said I was a Crazy-Ass Nutjob…I cried. Until I realized…SHES RIGHT! I WAS a Crazy-Ass NutJob, but I never would’ve admitted it. Thanks Judge Judy!”
Judge Judy scares me a bit. I think the justice system should be looking deeper than the next soundbite opportunity.
Random thought: imagine a lesbian love scene between Judge Judy and Laura Schlessinger.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
I had a comment. Goshdarnit, I’m sure I really did. I just don’t know what it was.
michelle: what, are you a masochist?
tblue: yeah, there are some poor folk on the show, but they got some stupid richuns, too.
glitzy: you haven’t lived without Judy.
akh: truer words never spoken.
lbb: her scariness is her greatest asset. i wouldn’t want to be witness to judy & laura schlesinger schtooping each other. i want my lesbians to be out of the pages of penthouse.
sarcastrix: i don’t know what your comment was, either. maybe it will come to me eventually.
I’d like to see JJ in a celebrity deathmatch with BeesKnees.
Tag team? With Marilyn Milian on Judy’s side, and McWigglebottom on Bees.
I just want to see the robot kick some ass.
sweet! I can’t wait!
Love it! I whole heartedly agree!
I googled Judge Judy to find her books and found your JJ speech.
I so wish I could say what she says.
I wonder how she raised her kids. Probably not the way she handles her courtroom but I’d be interested.
Love it! I whole heartedly agree!
I googled Judge Judy to find her books and found your JJ speech.
I so wish I could say what she says.
I wonder how she raised her kids. Probably not the way she handles her courtroom but I’d be interested.
Love it! I whole heartedly agree!
I googled Judge Judy to find her books and found your JJ speech.
I so wish I could say what she says.
I wonder how she raised her kids. Probably not the way she handles her courtroom but I’d be interested.