Somebody on this blog asked me what I did for a living, and speculated that I am a dentist. Not so. I probably would have been an evil (not to mention incompetent) dentist — not a torturer, more like a nitrous oxide junkie who tries to fool around with the dental hygenist.
I am told that there are writers who do this full time — write fiction, that is — but the vast majority of us slaves to the keyboard must toil away at a “real job” in the “real world.”
One of the more helpful things I learned in graduate school came in the form of a two-hour seminar. A few of the school’s creative writing teachers were to give us pointers about how to make a living and still write. The general theme was “get a job that gives you a lot of time to write, like a security guard” or “don’t worry about money – that will take care of itself.” (The latter, sadly, is a direct quote from a poetry teacher who told us a story about how he was broke and then an N.E.A. grant fell from the sky, and it’s like, man you got to do your art first! Like dude! Then I found out he had a major-league sugar momma).
So I learned not to pay attention to anything these jokers had to say about earning a living.
In an informal survey taken in the recesses of my brain, here’s the most common ways writers earn their way:
1. Teacher (Creative Writing)
2. Journalist/Copyeditor
3. Administrator/Manager (Often at a college)
4. Temp
5. Pizza Delivery/Food Delivery/Internet Identity Thief
I have worked at three of these jobs. You can guess which ones.
Those are typical jobs. Here are others that give you material comfort and time to write:
1. Parents are loaded/Trust fund of the century
2. Invested in Cisco back in ’91/Had a feeling and bet the farm on Buster Douglas
3. Sold first child, put second up for auction
Other jobs, which also allow for some material comfort and lots of time:
1. Unemployed Member of the Proletariat With Great Pay & Benefits (Europe only)
2. Evil Lawyer/Disgraced Executive With $100 Million/Arms Dealer
3. License plate maker. Without a doubt, leaves you with the most time.
The best situation, of course, is that you’re paid for your semi-incoherent scribbling in fiction. But even those lucky few are rare: most full-time fiction writers dabble in magazine writing (good $, maintain integrity), screenwriting (awesome $, lose integrity), and criticism (crapola $, huge amounts of integrity, but still crapola $). You really only get to be a full-time critic after you’ve published a book, not before you write one, unless your name is Dale Peck or James Walcott or James Wood and your fame as a critic propels your fiction efforts.
I am counting on this blog to do the same for me. It’s a long shot, but so was Buster Douglas.
I don’t have the nerve to be an arms dealer in today’s world. I don’t have the diploma to sidle into an education field job. I’ll have to stick with this service sector purchasing agent schtick that I luckily stumbled upon. For the time being, that is.
Sooner or later I’ll generate the majority of my income from sculpting. Then I’ll have achieved my ideal life of funding one creative endeavor with another.
Get a job that gives you a lot of time to write, like…
Editor of research publications at an invesment bank.
Works for me!
Good luck with the money thing!
Have you decided whether to attend AWP yet?
In my current job, I face insurmountable deadlines for April 1, no joke, effectively eliminating any possibility that I will show my handsome mug in Vancouver. If you go, say hello to Wife. She’s the cute one, the writer.
i’ve been lucky, i guess. i was a student, worked at a comic book store and eventually got a job as an editor / journalist. it’s nice to say i get paid for my writing, even if it’s not always the writing i’d like to do. i keep telling me that all the crap just makes all the good stuff that much better…
sometimes it’s the little lies that make all the difference…haha. thanks for stopping my my blog. might have to check back here myself.